Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2004-03-11
10:41 p.m.

Super BEVR: Carol (Fl) / Tampa, Miami, Raleigh, Philly & Washington, D.C. ~ 2/27/04, 2/28/04, 3/1/04, 3/2/04 and 3/5/04With special bonus ~The First Annual Clayvention (Raleigh, N.C.) ~ 3/5-3/6/04

Where to start? Yes, I know the beginning ~ but which beginning? Frankly the beginning beginning was when I saw Clay on AI2, but I guess I really don't have to go back that far, right?

This particular beginning started with the announcement of what is now known as "The Coming Tour (and boy! Did we get that right!) and my determination to see Clay in better seats than I had up to this point (i.e., AI2 tour and Jingle Ball). Tickets were bought by me and my new Claymate friends, here in South Florida (who all really should be Broads). Tampa and Miami accounted for, I was determined to make it to Raleigh, Mecca if you will, the birthplace of our own HRH. She shoots! She scores! She has two tickets to Raleigh!!!! Not the best seats, but the Tampa and Miami seats make up for it ~ at least I'll be where "it" all started.

Jump ahead to the concerts themselves, where I will share only the highlights, since you all know by now just how they went down and I went to five of them. This BEVR is already going to be way too long.

Tampa ~ cold, too cold for me, but the idea of being in the same place with Clayton Holmes Aiken warms me all over (and I do mean all over!). Now, let me tell you here and now that seeing Studmuffin perform in both the AI2 Tour and the Jingle Ball in no way prepared me for what this man brings to this tour. His entrance singing "Kyrie" was nothing short of spectacular; that beautiful voice emanating from two beams of bright white light as he proceeded downs the aisle was very nearly a religious experience for me. Certainly, I stood transfixed, mesmerized and frozen in place, unable to scream or cry (which as you all know by now, I am wont to do)! Suffice to say the boy brought it and he brought it in spades! We stayed overnight and drove back early the next morning.

Miami ~ much warmer, thank Heavens and my seat was heavenly. Seven rows from the stage on the left side; when he was on the stage itself, I was no more than 20 feet from him and when he was on the catwalk no more than 12 feet. Tired? Nah! I've worked 10 hours on less sleep with far less reward. Clay? He moved and he grooved! Once again, the Tiger prowled and growled and I was his willing prey! Again, no screaming or crying ~ I felt frozen in time. And happily and willingly so.

The next day, the 12 hour drive to Raleigh with a local Claymate (hi, Helene!). Twelve hours with just us and Clay in a small confined space. Not a bad way to travel. We arrived at our hotel in Raleigh after midnight and, tired as we were, did not fall right to sleep. We were so excited to be in Raleigh that, despite knowing we had to get up early to go to his first radio station interview, we stayed up and talked longer than we should have.

Okay, getting up at 6 a.m. was easier than it should have been, but that's the effect Clay has on us all. Revved and ready to go, we arrived at the G105 and stood with a crowd of Claymates from all over. One group had made a puzzle of Clay's face and had laid it on the ground so it could be seen from the radio station window. They had written the words "There's no place like home" on the back and hoped to have enough women to flip the picture to reveal the sentiment so he could read it.

Froze our tushes off waiting for Clay to arrive (2 hours, btw). Suddenly, the black SUV pulled in and parked within our semi-circle of fans. He got out of the car and walked counter-clockwise around the front of the car. I was in a stupor as he hugged the first two fans he came to. Helene was next and grabbed his arm, asking if she too could have a hug. He apologized to her and kept walking, right past me. "Wait, Clay," I shouted. "I have presents for your." As he reached for the gift bag that held a candle with his picture on it inside, he fumbled a bit (because he was still on the move) and that's when our fingers did their little dance. I touched his fingers!!! Dr in NC assures me that I am very likely pregnant with twins, even as I type, as she became pregnant by seeing his hoody on the Kimmel show! Once he went inside, I screamed and jumped like the 13 year old my 25 year old son says I really am. I touched Clay's fingers!!! Our little "interlude" was shown very briefly on Access Hollywood. The boy has no shame ~ he made me do it in public!

We listened to the radio interview while we drove to MIX 101.5. The weather had warmed up a bit by then and we arrived to find another crowd already in attendance. The djs came outside and chatted with us all for a bit and then Clay arrived (I could have said "came") again. This seemed, somehow, less controlled and the SUV pulled up right outside the door to the building. Jerome ushered him inside very quickly as he smiled and waved to the crowd. The windows in the building allowed us to watch him as he walked up the stairs to the studio. The djs were kind enough to let us know he'd be coming out to the balcony on the front side of the building later, so we all ran around to the front, where the radio station had one of their vehicles set up with the radio blaring so we could hear the interview. The picture on the WRAL website was taken here, as was the one shot of me holding my camera that was shown on Access Hollywood. We were there for at least an hour, during which time I finally spoke to LB Cha Cha Trusty who was waiting at WRAL TV studios. Finally! I wasn't the only Broad in attendance at a Clay-related function!

For whatever reason, we hung around to hear the whole interview and watch Clay as he left the parking lot of the radio station. We arrived at WRAL after he'd already gone inside, but I got to meet my very first Broad, the aforementioned Cha Cha. The crowd was very orderly and we waited patiently for Clay to exit the building and we actually saw him do so, but the car was parked inside a gate about 100 yards from us. He got into the car and it came out of the gate, but the tinted windows made it difficult to see him. The car stopped at the end of the drive (waiting for traffic) and most of the crowd surged toward it. That's when I walked away. I remembered Clay had said one of the most frightening things about his celebrity was fans pounding on the car and I just couldn't be part of that.

Back to the hotel with Trusty in tow. We killed a couple of hours and headed to Houlihan's where I was blessed to meet (I sure hope I remember you all ~ forgive me if I miss someone) Raleighgurrl, Brenda in Raleigh, Lila, MnM, Cotton, Lady Luke, Cindy, Dr in NC, Terry and Mr. Terry, Chell, Cedar, Rachel and Niki. Raleighgurrl, thank you for the goodie bag which contained our emergency kits! Cotton gave us each some North Carolina red clay to wear and Lila gave us each a folder with pics of Clay back in the day with his uncle's band, "Just for a Change." I was gang-banged after having been a Broad virgin! I loved it!

Needless to say, Clay brought it once again and Raleigh gladly took it. Raleigh adores Clay and he adores us back. I think we sang every single song with him and he loved us for it.

I didn't get a chance to meet up with the Broads after the show; I felt a little obligated to spend time with my S. Florida pals, since I'd come all this way with them.

On Tuesday, Helene (who has a master's degree and works for IBM) noted that "Philly's only 8 hours away," and asked if I was up for the drive. Duh! Ran down the hall to check with Jeanette (the other Claymate) and before we knew it, we were headed for Philly. I called my fave LB Merry and begged her to post that I was headed to Philly and to have Filly Sue call me on my cell phone, which she finally did. She asked if we had tickets and I told her no. Now this is the part that demonstrates the power of the Broads. Filly told me she had 3 tickets and that despite the fact that she'd bought her and Mr. Filly's tickets previously, went ahead and bought three more tickets without knowing why she was doing it. Clay wanted us there and Filly Sue was the instrument. I am forever grateful because not only did she watch our backs, ticket-wise, but I wound up 2 seats over from her, 4 frikkin' rows from the center of the catwalk! My best seat yet! And I got to meet Cheyanne, Cindy and Ruth! Filly and I sneaked a quick smoke in the stall of the ladies' room during intermission, bringing back memories of high school and lots of giggles.

Again, we didn't stay afterwards to bask in the afterglow: an 8 hour drive back to Raleigh is what was coming up next. Arrived back at the hotel early in the a.m. and managed to get a little sleep. We'd basically been managing on 11 hours of sleep in 5 days until Wednesday, when we kind of chilled for the morning.

Later that day, Jeanette and I went over to PKD printing to help out Paulette, the

friend of the family who has a printing firm that, initially, did all Clay's merchandise. Unfortunately, because Clay's name and image now belong to RCA/Entertainment 19, she is no longer allowed to use his full name or his face. Still, we were pleased to help her make buttons, count and fold t-shirts, etc., in preparation for the upcoming Clayvention. Jeanette even designed a new button "Proud Citizen of Clay Nation," which I was pleased to make and which was on sale at the Clayvention.

Wednesday and Thursday were spent helping Paulette and she was extremely grateful for all our help. Friday was the start of the Clayvention, but Helene (remember her?) once again noted that "DC is only 4 hours away," and before I knew it, we were headed for Washington. With no plan of action and no tickets, we strode up to the box office and got 3 seats in section 112, 3rd row! Perpendicular to the catwalk and few heads to get in our line of sight! When we got to our seats, Jeanette recognized Jacob, the backup singer, who very graciously talked to us and gave us each his autograph. He told us he is having the time of his life. He auditioned for AI and got cut, but he said that Randy (Jackson) remembered him and suggested him for the tour, for which he is incredibly grateful. He also told us he has his own album coming out soon. During our conversation, I spotted 2 purple t-shirts and boldly went over and introduced myself to both Barb in Tn and Mary in Md. Apparently Karen, eh? was also in the house and I am still devastated I didn't get a chance to meet her. We left after Clay's set (he was on first), so we'd get a reasonable amount of sleep before we hit the Clayvention the next day.

When the show started, I was facing the back of the auditorium because, for 4 concerts in a row, that's where Clay entered from. Helene suddenly grabbed my head, jerking it around, so I was facing the aisle one over from us so I could witness this Angel as he made his way toward the stage. Helene, being very observant, also told me about Waldo, but I missed that entirely. I did, however, witness Dom Clay's exhibition of power as he pulled Angela to him by the waistband of her jeans and then proceeded to grind against her. Needless to say, he brought down the house and I lived to tell the tale.

Clayvention ~ what can I say except to say that meeting up with 3, 10, even 25 women who "get you" and your Clay lifestyle is amazing. Four hundred women who are basically sharing a single brain is mind-blowing! Gini, Cotton and Ruth were in attendance, as well as some ladies whose acquaintance I made at the Orlando mini-Clayvention, Dee and Kris (hi!!!!).

There was a talent show, in which Jeanette's daughter Michelle came in second to a guy named Gus who had a beautiful voice. There were items galore that were raffled off; I won a scrapbook of Clay magazine articles and pictures (the Broads were represented yet again!). Then word came of the now-famous DC video, co-starring Waldo and featuring the Angela tug. I believe it was Shine who had it and raised $117 for BAF by asking for a $1 donation for entry into the hotel room to view it. Apparently, even Clay's former math teacher had a gander (altogether, 400 women raised over $10,000 for BAF)! Mama Faye was in attendance, as was Grandma and I had my picture taken with both and got Faye's autograph as well.

I know this is going on and on, but it's really hard to cover 5 amazing performances by Mr. Sugarpants, as well as a convention, but there was just soooo much to tell. I know there are tons of little details I'm skipping, but if I told everything as I saw it and felt it, I'd put you all to sleep. It was, quite simply, the best week of my life. I had my Broads, I had Clay. The only thing missing was a rousing game of Twister!

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