2005-05-11
1:15 a.m.

......Wildest Dreams

Come True.....

3...2...1...
Cue Oprah.
Audience on their feet.
Yada yada yada

Today's show...something about dreams...
Crowd goes crazy.
Break for commercial.
(run to fridge)
(run to potty)

OK. What cha got for us today, Miss Winfrey?

Oprah has a bus.

Well, I'm not surprised. She is one of the richest women in the world. She probably has a plane and a yacht, too. And besides, WE have 3 buses. One little ol' bus isn't going to impress me, even if it does look all shiny and pretty...and I think it might be purple or...purplish. Then again, I could be color blind.

So, it's a NICE bus. Woop-de-doo. I have a nice Corolla.

OK, I said the bus was NICE!

Hummm, it seems her bus may be a little "special".

It what?

It makes your Wildest Dreams Come True?!? You mean like "WILDEST" dreams. Come TRUE! Like THAT???

OK, this could be good. A bus...wild dreams. Humm. I'm watch'n.
(hit record)

I think Oprah could be a Broad. Look at her. She really is "together." She is smart, witty, savvy and very giving. Yep, the gurl knows how to give. She could definitely be a Broad. And she is even wearing purple!

Look, she is going to make that boy's wildest dreams come true. Cute kid. Ahhhhh. He lost his legs to a virus. How horrible. Oh, what a champ that kid is. Well, he deserves his wildest dreams to come true. Oprah is going to surprise him. With Derek Jeter. Now that is cool. Very Broad worthy.

And look, it works. The bus really works. The kid got on, he went to Yankee Stadium, his wildest dreams really did come true. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

OK, I'm a believer. I like the bus.
(We may need to think about upgrading.)

OMG! Look!

There!
RIGHT THERE!

Sitting. in. that. BUS!

OMG!
It's Clayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Look how cute he is! Oh and I really like his hair.
He's.
o.m.g.....
He has a sign in his lap that says...

Wildest .Dreams .Come. True!
IN. HIS. LAP!
And it's got a GIANT """O""" around it!
Someone just slap me.
Good Lord and Taylor!
He's going to make someone's wildest dreams come true!
Oh..pick me!
ME.
Clay!
Over here!

(freaking commercial)

Sisters! *finger snap* Dang.just my luck.
Wait...I don't think it is THAT kind of "wildest" dream. Sorry.
Please proceed.

OK, so there are these 2 sisters, identical twins, Britney and Bethany.
Look, baby pictures. Aren't they precious. They were both born with severe learning disabilities that delayed their speech.

Kids were mean to them. (kids can be SO MEAN)

But special programs and sheer determination helped them overcome their disabilities. And now, they are Honor Roll students. You Go Gurls!

Yep, you guessed it.. that's when "singing sensation Clay Aiken comes in".

Oh Oprah. of course we knew he was a dedicated Special Education teacher! It IS reason number 2 of the 12,371 reasons we love him. (ok, maybe reason number 3...but still)

Oprah says Clay jumped at the chance to jump on the her bus! (see...we really need to upgrade our buses)

Look, he's in the bus, waving!!!!!

Hey Clay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, the principal is going to surprise the gurls in front of all their peers.
(hey, she looks a little like Diane Sawyer, I think we need to watch her, she may have a hidden agenda)

Hey...There's CLAY again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!

Clay Aiken is at their school!
And look, his wittle shirt tail is flying up.

Gawd, is it wrong to have a wild dream of my own in the midst of him helping these lovely gurls?

No? Good! (I'm sure Kat would agree)

Is he not the cutest! OMG! Look how he just strolls in, all giggly!

Those gurls might not survive! Look! They are beside themselves! (and beside HIM too) They are shaking his beautiful hands..and they are.oh.they are hugging him! Squeezing his body! Oh!

WE MUST HAVE THAT BUS!

Ha! See that gurl sitting in the crowd of students, the one in the jean jacket, that one...the one with her
mouth.
wide.
open!

Yeah, her! Looks like she has a few of those "Clay Aiken Wildest Dreams" running through her head!

I'm right there with ya babe!

Clay is telling the twins that they get to go to Chicago and be on The Oprah Show!

And he's devious too, letting them believe they are going to be on for an Amazing Graduating Seniors show. That little trickster!

Look, they are jumping up and down.

Oh. he just loves helping them, you can tell. He is so good. So, so good. Look at that smile!

The twins are crying.

And Clay Aiken is at their school! Oh, I said that already. But.... HE IS! How great is that!

A BOTW snippet!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And with a song in their hearts, they hop on the bus and head to Chicago with CLAY! Talk about your dreams!

OK, so I needed that commercial!

Back in the studio. There's Oprah. I see the gurls.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There he is!

Come on out Clay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He tells the gurls the big surprise. Awww, and the twins siblings helped save for their college expenses.

Wait, he's leaving. No wait, please.

Man! That wasn't long enough, that was only a semi-dream. A partial! It was interrupted.....it was premature dreamulation!!!!

Hey, there's TY from Extreme Home Makeover! (I really enjoy that Ty) And he styled his hair just like Clay. And, hey he layered his shirts! Ty has on THREE SHIRTS! Sorry Ty, you're very cute and all, but it just doesn't work like that! Ty does the gurls' dorm rooms..twins get free college tuition to Baylor. Everyone is happy.

Right before the break you get to see 2 more secs of Clay as Oprah leans in for a hug. See, HIDDEN AGENDAS all around.

Now there's something about a desparate housewife or husband or something. Oh, the dude from that show. Sorry. just doesn't do it for me.

OK, time to start dinner......and have a few wildest dreams of my own......

Is he back yet?

Let's see.. A women who needed dental work.
WOW! Look at that before picture, good job!
Check out that smile. Oh, I bet Clay is in the audience. She's no fool!

One more freak'n commercial.
STAYFREE!!!!!!!!! Bwahahaha! Oprah really IS a Broad!

And she does the little intro.and.bam.......

WILDEST DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Will Carry You.....
Soft.

slow......omg.
Did I mention soft and slow?

Look at that face.

Listen to that voice.
And if you close your eyes..

You don't even have to sleep to dream.

(Hey even the microphone looks purply!)

Wild or not!
He. Is. A. Dream!

OK. Breathe......

And I'll tell ya, after an hour of THAT, you need a little sump'n to...ummmm...replish you.

How about a SAMMICH......

So, any chance we can get that bus?

Written by Robin with the help of Erin
Capped by Kat
(and a few extra by Nelle).

We'd like to thank Oprah and the makers of Stayfree.