2004-07-07
1:30 p.m.

CBS Early Show: Alternate Universe

You wanted to see Clay sing and be interviewed today. Don't despair. CBS may have chosen to feature another cute guy from North Carolina on The Early Show, but the Broads will never let you down. While that election thingy may be important to some, the Broads have already found their President...

So without further ado, we bring you Clay Aiken on The Not So Early Show with Wendy and Katynka ...

Katynka:"Great Job Clay!"

Wendy: "Totally Great!"

Clay: "Thank you. "

Clay: BURP!!!!!!

Wendy: "Whoah ... A little gassy?"

Clay: "Uh, sorry ... ah just had a hot pocket and a pepsi."

Katynka: "Where did you learn how to perform like that?"

Clay: "Well, ah've been watching Saturday Night Live reruns ... John Belushi was very talented."

Wendy: "You do realize he was just making fun of Joe Cocker, don't you?"

Clay: "Oh."

Katynka: "Clay, did you pick that shirt because it shows off the clipples so well?"

Clay: "Ah'm not sure what you mean."

Wendy: "Clipples ... in 'Clay Language' mean .. uh, ::whispering:: nipples."

Clay: "Mah whut?!?"

Katynka: "Are those stripes sewn on, or did you iron them on with Stitch Witchery?"

Clay: "Oh mah heavens ... Ah bought the shirt this way ... but ah have used the witchery in the past ..."

Wendy: "Would you like to elaborate?"

Clay: "Uh, no."

Katynka: "Clay, we've heard rumors that you're romantically involved."

Clay: "Ah'm not."

Wendy: "Really? Well, we have pictures that suggest otherwise"

Katynka: "What do you have to say about that?"

Wendy: "Uh huh, spill it gurrlfriend!"

Clay: "What goes on between me and the mic stand is mah business"

Katynka: "What else can you do with those hands?"

Clay: "Excuse me?"

Katynka: "Never mind... You seem really happy to be here."

Clay: "Mmmmhmm ..."

Wendy: "Clay, you appear to be wearing pants that actually fit. Is this a first for you?"

Clay: "Ah'm not sure ah like where this is going .."

:: Giggle::

Katynka: "Did you INTEND to kill your fans with that expression?"

Clay: "Ah'm not sure - Wendy? Kat? JEROME! Ah think ah killed 'em!!!"

:: Due to technical difficulties, this concludes our interview::

Written by: Katynka and Wendy in FL

Pics courtesy of:
Fairfield 2002 and AprilJoy at RHT