Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2004-05-05
9:13 a.m.

Press release to the Washington Post:

Waldo County, ME ... The Democratic Party, concerned with John Kerry's lack of charisma, has added the name of Superstar Clay Aiken to the list of possible VP candidates.At a press conference following the Correspondents Dinner last evening, Mr Kerry's press secretary suggested that the addition of a hot, southern boy to the ticket this Fall, would not only bring North Carolina to the Blue states...but would insure the vote of women everywhere! "Mr Aikens smile alone will bring us the entire East Coast and should he throw in a chorus or two of Solitaire, we will win California and, even Florida! Elderly women in Nursing Homes along the Gulf Coast are already arranging car pools to take them to the polls" The reserved New England coolness of John Kerry should be offset by the thermal warming effect of Aiken, who, had he been there, could have prevented the sinking of the Titanic by melting the guilty iceberg!

Plans are to have the sexy singer tour the country and perform in every state that the Democrats need to win in November. In the swing states, with large numbers of electoral votes, he will wear his tight jeans and leather jacket...and sing When Doves Cry to the Governor's wives. In late October, just prior to the election, it may be neccesary to send Mr Aiken to see Ralph Nadar and encourage him to drop out of the race...by singing several choruses of Measure Of A Man!

Teresa Kerry, the outspoken wife of the presumed nominee, has already admitted to being behind the idea and has volunteered to take Mr Aiken to her farm, where she will teach him all he needs to know to assume the duties of her husband...should he be unable to perform.

Campaign buttons are already available on Ebay...they read...CLAY AIKEN..I WILL KERRY YOU!!

Written by: Sandi

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