Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2004-02-07
11:39 a.m.

Wizard of Oz AI Style: Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Clay is tightly gripping the AMA award as the four friends head back into the Wizard's throne room.

"Hey this feels good. I could get used to this."

"We all could choir boy," teases Kim.

"Yeah, be careful, if it's too heavy you may fall over. Maybe you should let a 'big boy' hold it," laughs Ruben.

"Do not turn this into a razz battle because you will go down�both of you."

"Yeah, well, I could sing and the goats would come and run you over and I would take the�OK, that's just not funny, sorry." Adds Carmen.

The flashing lights and showgirls once again startle them and the 'razz battle' is forgotten. The room is filled with adoring MunchkinBroads.

"Great Wizard, we have returned with the award and the Wicked Sl**on is now, um, well, he's not a problem anymore."

"PETA, huh?"

The friends glance nervously at each other.

"I know you all want your wishes granted, but first I must make a little confession. I don't look like Elvis�not really and I'm not really a Wizard�I'm�"

A small, neat-looking man appears from behind a huge, purple curtain.

"I'm Neil Sedaka."

The group gasps in delight and immediately rushes to "Wizard" Neil.

"Now don't worry, just because I'm not an 'official' Wizard doesn't mean I can't help you all." Neil looks at Kim and kisses her hand.

"Dear sweet Kim. For you I have a platinum record necklace. May it always remind you the power of a hit record is in you, don't let anyone discourage you�sorry if it's a little tacky, these were very popular in the 70's, ya know."

"Thank you so much Mr. Sedaka."

Neil moves on to Ruben.

"Velvet teddy bear Ruben. For you I have this earring�I know it's a butterfly, but it has a HUGE diamond, so you still got your 'bling-bling'. May it always remind you that you are a butterfly coming out of its cocoon�be your own man and success will follow."

"Thanks, man."

Neil eyes Carmen warily.

"Carmen, dear Carmen. There is no easy way to say this�even I cannot give you talent. You either got it or you don't. You do have a talent, you know. Just not the one you want. So, I am giving you a wonderful herding dog. He will help you to control the beasts that so obviously adore your voice. Nurture your natural rapport with them and it will serve you well."

Finally, Neil turns to Clay.

"Clay. You sing�you sing, like�wait, sorry, you want to go home. I'm just about to head back to Vegas myself and if I could give you a lift, I would. I think you and Andre Agassi would really hit it off, but no time for that. You know you would have never believed me, but you had the power to go home all along."

"Don't tell me - click my heels?"

"No Baby, just shake what God gave you and tug on your shirt. Oh, and why don't you just hold on to that award, you'll see what I mean."

With that Neil hops in a sequined hot air balloon and waves good-bye to the foursome and the MunchkinBroads. Clay turns to his friends and hugs each one tightly.

"I'll never forget any of you. Your friendship has meant the world to me. Somehow I just know we'll all meet up again somehow, someway."

Clay holds Raleigh is one arm and places AMA at his feet. He waves longingly at the MunchkinBroads.

"Somehow I know I'll see y'all again, too."

He watches as a pair of panties goes flying by and he smiles.

"Here goes nothing."

Clay does a hip trust/shake and tugs on his shirt. The last thing he hears is the adoring screams of the Broads.

Clay awakens to Raleigh licking his face and thinks it was a dream. Then he sees a rainbow on the wall and realizes it is the sunlight shining through the AMA award. Then he sees the shoes still on his feet. Just as he curls up to go back to sleep he mumbles, "there's no one like my Broads" and drifts off to the feel of soft caresses and the sound of giggles.

THE END

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6

By: Doc in NC, Surgeon General to the Broads ..
Illustrated by her ever loyal, ever loving minion Wendy in FL

Poetic license was taken with the image of Mr. Aiken holding the AMA ... any true fan would recognize that he is indeed in the BMA outift ... I changed the statue to suit my purposes ... tee hee!

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