Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!

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2004-08-02
8:16 a.m.

Close Encounters of the Clay Kind ...

Clay Aiken Close Encounters

If you've never seen this film, this will make no sense. If you have seen it, this will make no sense. Kidding! (I hope)

There are many striking similarities between Steven Spielberg's Close Encounters of the Third Kind and our own Encounters of the 'Clay Kind'. Over the last year, my Clay Aiken 'experience' has reminded me of the film time and time again. Here are a few comparisons...

The film began with a dazed witness to one of the earliest sitings of the UFO 'phenomenon' deleriously saying, "The sun came out last night and it sang to me".

One of OUR earliest sitings happened when OUR Phenom sang 'Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me', and he was out of this world!

Richard Dreyfuss starred as 'Roy', a regular guy with a wife, kids and a job until one fateful night his life was turned upside down by a UFO siting. The lights from the spaceship were so bright that they tanned his face.

The next day, his wife offered him 'Tan in a Can' (no kidding!) to make it look more 'natural'. Right, like Tan in a Can looks natural! Whatever, it was the 70's. Now, what's Clay's excuse?

Two other main characters were a mom and her young son. Familiar??

The son is taken for a ride in the sky on the space ship. "Take a ride in the sky, on a ship Fantasii, all your dreams will come true right awaaaaaaay...".

At that point in the movie there were droves of tan faced fans, I mean 'witnesses' who came together night after night in anticipation, longing for another siting. They couldn't get enough. They even brought signs!

Lame sign, buddy. Try this one!

Meanwhile, back on the ranch (no, not THAT Ranch), Roy was completely consumed by his new obsession. So much so that during dinner one night he built the image stuck in his mind out of mashed potatoes while telling his VERY concerned family:

"I can't describe what I'm feeling and what I'm thinking. This means something!"

(*winks at Broad Kelly and Leah who made a Tater Clay at a Las Vegas buffet).

Roy also sculpted his obsession out of clay.

OOPS! Wrong movie.

Roy was so imbedded in delusion at that point that he had lost his job (my heart goes out) and his wife was getting SO upSET. One night she found him in a cold shower, fully dressed and sobbing (I think we can relate) and he said; "I don't think I know what's happening to me".

She took the kids and split the next day. Rather than mourn the loss of his family and job, Roy shut himself in the house and built yet another sculpture of his obsession that filled an entire room!

Clack much, Roy?

After completing the replica, the RL version appeared on his television. The newscaster called it the 'Devil's Tower' (ha ha!) and discussed it's 'erection' (ROTFL!!!). Hey, blame Spielberg! I couldn't make this up if I tried!

TV viewers from all over who 'got it' reached out and touched their television sets. I know you all have touched your TVs. Some of you have even licked it!

Roy and others from all across the country made a pilgrimage to The Tower. That column of mass proportions, and the way it penetrated the horizon reminded me of...um...tee hee....{{cough}}...concert arenas to where so many of us have made our own pilgrimages.

In one scene, a government agent who was amazed by all the people trying so desperately to reach The Tower said, "There must be hundreds of others who never made it this far simply because they never watched the television or perhaps they watched it but never made the psychic connection."

!!! 'Psychic connection'? Is that like an EF? {{ahem}}

In summation, Roy finally arrived at that big old Tower, the space ship landed and music played in a hypnotic combination of 5 notes.

Doo DO dooo do DOOOO.

Insert any Clay song here. It's fun!

iiiii WILL caaRRRRY YOUUU....If iiii was InVISiblllllle.

Alright, that was 6 notes, but it was still fun. The stage where this all happened looked remarkably similar to one that we know so well.

The crowd applauded as a tall alienesque figure with long skinny arms and legs appeared on the platform of the ship.

A group of little beings came out, gathered around Roy and brought him inside the ship to learn from him. Much like when Clay is surrounded by little beings who learn from him.

I asked Clay what he thought of all this...

*adjusts crown, "Dang, this thing gets tight!"*

... but he had no comment. He did, however, send this message...

"I'll be riiiight here"

Written by: Kelly in RI (aka KinRi)

Thank you to Wendy in FL for her skills and input, and KLA and Lisa for their photo contributions, and especially to Clay for being so ding dang out of this world! ;-)

Posted by: Wendy in FL