Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2004-01-26
3:30 p.m.

Clay Answers Broadly Questions

A Special BEVR from Kati

with lots of help from Erin who actually heard it when I won this morning.

I�m sitting on 85 after calling work and letting them know that I was going to be a few minutes late today due to traffic. So, they are doing this contest on Q100 for people to fill in for different DJ�s from the Bert Show. At first they were making people ask really asinine and stupid questions, like, �Will you rock my body?� and �Would you have surgery to get your pointy ears fixed?� Now, personally, I didn�t have a snarky, insipid, or asinine question to ask so I didn�t try as diligently as I should have. So, then Bert (the ring leader of the whole thing) said he was going to give away his spot to the 100th caller. Needless to say I was dialing like a mad woman!!! So, I�m sitting on the exit ramp when the phone rings, not once, not twice, but three times, and this guy answers.

�Hello, this is the Bert show.�
�What caller am I?� I pretty much scream.
�What?�
�What caller am I?�
�Who is this?� He�s kind of laughing, and I can tell that it�s Bert from the Bert Show.
�It�s Kati.�
�How old are you Kati?�
�I�m 23.� He�s writing all this down. �You don�t understand, I�m flying to Vegas to see him!�
�All right, Kati, we need you to turn your radio off.�
�Omigod! Did I win?�
�I can�t tell you right now, but just stay on the line and if we come back to you, you�re in."
�You don�t get it! If I get this, I�m going to cry.�
�Well listen, if you could cry that would be great.�
�It won�t be an issue.�
�I love your energy! If we come back to you we need you to scream and yell.�
�Okay.�

So, after this I pull into the Starbucks parking lot because I am a danger to society! And then I start doing a lot of praying. I�m freaking out. Trying to remember how to breathe all of those functions that are mandatory to sustaining life.

They come back to me.

This next part is from Erin because I kind of blanked out!

Okay here's what I remember about this morning:

I woke up late (as usual). I rolled over and hit the power button on the stereo. Right then I heard Bert say, "Okay now we are going to take the 100th caller for the Clay Aiken interview." I start to grab the phone when I hear Bert say, "And I've got the 100th caller on the line right now." CRAP, I'M TOO LATE.

He patches the caller through. I hear you say, "Hello????"

Bert says, "Hey, what's your name?" And I hear you say, "Kati!" "Am I the 100th caller?"

At this point I am starting to flip out. Because I think it sounds like MY KATI, but I'm trying to stay calm.

Bert says, "Yes, you are."

I hear you squeal. And then you say, "I am going to Vegas to see him!"

And my prayers are answered, IT IS MY KATI!!!!

You then say, "I'm going to see him THREE times, here, Winston-Salem, and Vegas!" And then you squeal again.

At this point, I am squealing! And yelling, "OMG, OMG, OMG!"

Then Bert says, "Kati, Kati, Kati, now you're going to have to be calm when you're interviewing him.

And you say, "I know, I can do it, I have a degree in theater."

And Bert laughs and says, "It sounds like you are going to be perfect for this!"

And they put you on hold. I jump out of bed and run down the hallway yelling and jumping up and down! I power up the computer and jump on the purple pages to make the announcement.

(Kati Again)

�Kati?�

�Omigosh! ME?� After this pretty much everything I said is a complete wash. I know that I told them that I was going to see him three times and named the various venues. That I was thrilled. I totally dorked out (but in such a good way). They asked if I could put together complete sentences and stuff. I was like, �Yeah, I majored in theatre. I can do this.� And then they asked if I could be there today and I was like, �Of course I�ll be there.� Then they put me back on hold but I could still hear the show and Jenn said, �I have a feeling Kati would quit her job to come and do this.� Of course I would! I mean, then I could really say, It�s all Clay�s fault.

I have to go to work then... and try not to freak out more. I began to rack my brain for questions. I didn�t want ask anything stupid. I mean, I am a Broad. We do not ask stupid questions. We have very high standards here. So, of course, I asked ya�ll what I should ask him. I came up with a short list, but knew it was doubtful that I�d get to ask all of them. Of course, the important question for me to ask was, �Have you filmed the video for The Way?� and if he said no to see if I could be in it.

I get to the studio and meet the other girls who won as well, and we are all giggly and twelvish together. It was fantastic! We start comparing questions and actually advised a couple of them to not ask certain ones. Too personal and we need to let him have his space. They agreed. (Hi Becca, Sarah, and Nikki!)

So, I meet Tracey Puloso who is the producer of the Bert Show, and it ends up that we went to high school together! We were in plays together! So we joked about that type of thing and were all silly. She�s so nice! Bert comes in and he basically tells us that he doesn�t want Clayton to know that we�re a bunch of fans. He wants us to pretend to be the morning show. So, basically, there went me PLEADING for backstage passes (I mean, I am flying to Vegas). But, I did get the okay on The Way question.

Then it happens. He�s on the phone. Now, I know he said some nice things, but boy are we all lucky that it�s recorded because my mind is seeping out of my ears. Now, as part of the scam, I had to be the host of the interview so to speak. I got to be the one leading it. I introduced us to him... I GOT TO TALK TO HIM FIRST!! So, I passed it around and we got to each ask him 1-2 questions. We only had ten minutes.

So, I�m not sure who went first, I think it was Sarah and she asked him what he has in his pockets (cause they always look so full). He went into detail and told us exactly what was in them. He also told about how he loses his wallet all the time so he has someone constantly reminding him to make sure he has it. He told us his brother gave him a thing that it beeps and he tried to play it for us. I was in heaven!!!

We asked what he did to celebrate his graduation, and he talked about going home and how nice it was since it was Christmas time and everything. He said that his celebrations are small now.

Then I asked THE question. �So, have you filmed the video for The Way yet?�

�No, we�re filming it this weekend.� And then he goes on to say that it�s the same director as Invisible and how much he enjoyed that and then-- �So, do you need a cute one legged DJ to be in it with you?� And he LAUGHED!! HE THOUGHT I WAS FUNNY! And said sure... I told him to just call the station and stuff. I ALMOST FELL OFF OF THE STOOL!!! I FREAKED! After that it�s pretty much a wash for me.

I know we asked if he was excited about the tour... What he thought of it. He said he was excited to be touring with Kelly because they are both similar, down home, not really into partying. Just doing their job and then going back to the bus to chill and stuff. Which I was thinking, �Can I come and chill?� but I had to remain all cool and stuff. Not an easy task mind you.

We asked what his favorite part of Atlanta was and he said MARTA (that�s our transit system that most of Atlanta doesn�t use). So we laughed about that and stuff. I told him that he�d just given Atlanta Transit a big boost and that most of ATL would probably be taking it now. HE LAUGHED AGAIN!

Then we had to wrap it up.

I�m telling you I would have indeed vomited on myself if it wasn�t for ya�ll. He was so nice, so sweet, so caring, so personable, so everything. We will have beautiful children together.

Afterwards we got into a discussion with Bert about Clay�s appeal, and I made sure to share the story about Jennifer from the Atlanta Christmas show and how great he was with her. How he treated her like a girl and not someone with a disability. I also told them that I thought he was Sex on a Stick.

So, there we go. That�s it. I am one step closer to becoming Mrs. Clayton Holmes Aiken.

Many thanks to everyone who sent me kind E-mails and sweet posts. I never would have been coherent enough without ya�ll.

I did remember to breathe.

--Kati, soon to be appearing as �The Love Interest� in The Way

posted by Katynka

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