2003-09-15
8:46 p.m.

Ears Part II: Earstory

We�ve spent a lot of time over these past few months debating, discussing and occasionally maybe even ogling the body parts of our favorite Freckled Stallion, but it always seems that one body part has been sadly neglected. I am talking about, of course, the ears. These perfectly ridged, classically curved alabaster beauties don�t get the due they�re deserved, and I wanted to right that wrong. Thus, I present to you�

EARSTORY�A brief history of the journey of Clayton Holmes Aiken, and his ears.

The ears began in an unassuming manner. They held no thought of fame or fortune. They never dreamed that women would be drooling over them and creating web pages in their honor. But they always knew they were destined for something special...

Then one day, they decided to audition for Am-ear-ican Idol. They knew they might face some adversity, but they persevered. And they shone...

And they made it to Glendale...

And even further�

Soon, the ears were inspiring brilliant women to say things like: "I wouldn't hold Clay's ears against him, except possibly with my thighs." (tm Julie)

Then, the ears went on tour. They got to dress up in earpieces and strut their stuff onstage. People from coast to coast flocked to see them, and fell more madly in love with each sighting:

As Kat put it, those ears became the center of everything we love about Clay. He will always have them, a visible assurance of the man that he has always been. An affirmation of the fact that in him, we have found something different and something special.

-Melissa