2007-05-19
7:08 a.m.

Heroes: Are You On The List?

Clay: *Knock knock*

Clay: Whut are you doing up there? Did you see a cat?

Mohinder: No, the evil Sylar attacked me because he wanted my list of all the ordinary people who have discovered they have extraordinary powers.

Clay: Am Ah on the list? Mah fans think Ah am special, and mah Lecherous Broads say Ah have extraordinary....uhh, gifts. Do Ah have extraordinary powers?

Mohinder: I don't see you on the list....but some people discover their powers unexpectedly, almost weekly.

Clay: How can Ah discover whether Ah have extraordinary powers?

Mohinder: I am Dr. Mohinder Suresh, a man of science. I am examining the genetic code to learn the secret of ordinary people who discover they have extraordinary powers so I can help save the world. I don't have time to help you.

Clay: Ah am Clay Aiken, a man of education. Ah am trying to bring attention and resources to the need for education, health care, clean water and economic development to help save the children of the world.

Clay: One immunization at a time.

Mohinder: Alright already, I'll help you!

Mohinder: You need to find Peter Petrelli, his extraordinary power is that he absorbs others' extraordinary power....if he absorbs your extraordinary power then he will be able to tell you what it is.

Clay: How will Ah find Peter Petrelli?

Mohinder: I will take you to places the heroes are known to hang out, and introduce you to others who know him.

Clay: Ahh...like the game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon!

Clay: Whut in the wurld! Did a paper supply truck crash into a string factory?

Mohinder: It says here this is a summer tour itinerary for one of your Lecherous Broads....let's see, Karen Eh is going to 11 concerts, has ticket purchases with 37 fandom friends, hotel arrangements made for 19 Broads, airport pick ups and drop offs planned with16 Broads, rental car plans with 12 Broads, and 20 pre or post concert parties to attend with 387 of her friends from Cla...uh, Your Nation.

Clay: Wow! So, Ah guess her extraordinary power is organization?

Mohinder: No, it says here she also has extraordinary ticket buying karma. Now, I�ll introduce you to some of the other heroes�

Clay: Ah'm looking for Peter Petrelli....hey, mah hit single is called Invisible! Would you like to use it for your theme song?

Invisible man: Don't talk to me!

Clay: *sheesh, that's so rude!*

Clay: That's so cool! If Ah could paint the future Ah would tell mah Lecherous Broads in advance when mah tour was hitting their towns!

Clay: Mah Broads say Ah'm hawt, but Ah don't actually start fires. This isn't working, Mohinder!

Mohinder: I'll take you to Peter Petrelli's mother.

Mama Petrelli: I cannot tell you where my son is, but I can see you are a man with extraordinary power over women.

Clay: *hmm, must be one of mah Broads*

Nathan: I cannot tell you where my brother is, but I'm sure your Broads are pleased to see us talking.

Clay: *he's very perceptive.*

Nathan: Did I mention I can fly?

Clay: *show off* That's so cool!

Nathan: Maybe Parkman the cop can read your mind to reveal your extraordinary powers.

Parkman: I am trying to read his mind, but all I'm getting is Jericho...Jericho...Jericho...Jericho...this guy has a one-track mind.

Audrey the Blonde Cop: I can see he's a man of extraordinary powers just standing here.

Clay: *who knew so many Lecherous Broads knew the heroes.*

Parkman: Did I mention my wife is pregnant?

Clay: *Ah never even met her!* Did Ah mention Ah'm looking for Peter Petrelli?

Parkman: I'll introduce you to Bennet and his daughter, Claire the cheerleader....they both know Peter Petrelli. Peter absorbed Claire's extraordinary power to heal from any kind of injury.

Clay: Hi, howareya? Ah'm looking for Peter Petrelli.

Claire: Peter Petrelli is my hero. He saved my life! I recently learned he is my uncle...that kind of put a harsh on my teenage lechery.

Claire: But, you're kinda cute.

Clay: *Note to self: send Claire directions to The Ranch for her 18th birthday.*

Ah'm going to go have a cold sweet tea.

Niki/Jessica: I can see you are special just looking at you...wanna get a room?

Clay: Alright, here we are in the room...now tell me my extraordinary power!

Clay: Ah see now, you can change from good to evil-with-superhuman-strength....mah Broads sometimes say Ah'm both angelic and, uhh, naughty. But Ah don't think that's mah extraordinary power.

Niki/Jessica: He didn't believe me that THAT was his extraordinary power...I tried to get him to stay by telling him I knew where to find Hiro Nakamura. But he left as soon as he was finished with me. Twice.

Clay: So, Ah've been looking for Peter Petrelli ever since...say, can you tell me where Ah might get one of those neat sweaters?

Hiro: Peter Petrelli is very good man...my future self give him message, "save the cheerleader, save the world." My future self is great warrior with big sword. I am on mission. I have power to scrunch my face and freeze time. Then I move through time and space.

Clay: Ah scrunch mah face when Ah sing sometimes. Some of mah fans find it moving. Others, not so much...say, maybe mah cousin Jamie can do something with your hair.

Clay: That's so cool! You get to meet your future self. Ah've gone through a lot of changes in the past 4 years, too.

Clay: *pfft...Ah'm not gonna tell these guys what mah Broads say about mah big sword.*

Hiro: I will introduce you to Peter Petrelli.

Clay: Hi, howareya?

Reminded of their potent and extraordinary symbol, Clay thinks about his Lecherous Broads and how he has expressed his extraordinary passion for them through wearing PURPLE TIES.

As often happens when he thinks of his Broads, he breaks into song...and is curiously bathed in PURPLE light.

The Extraordinary Power of Clay Aiken's VOICE is revealed to all.

Together they saved the world.

Afterwards, Clay went to visit The Ranch, because he needed some rest and relaxation.

Clay missed his Broads, and Taco missed his mares.

<<<>>>>

Nelle, Jill, Lewd

Photoshops by Lewd

Many thanks to the gatherers and sharers of Clack,including tasapio, invisible926, galrow, butterflyshine, Karen eh, MnM, clayizzaqt.