2003-10-20
8:46 p.m.

Broadmuda Triangle: Prudence and J4Clay

A Tale of Two Sisters

The Clay Connection In the Broadmuda Triangle

Once upon a time in a land void of purple, there dwelled two Sisters � as opposite as opposites can be. They did not play together, they shared no interests, they had no common bond. Scientific charts proved this to be true ...

From politics ...

To religion ...

To cultural tastes ...

... The Sisters utterly lacked that sisterly connection that made having siblings so worthwhile. Or even worthwhile at all.

Unless you count their passionate devotion to Tuesday night television -- which as it turned out, became the seed for this tall tale to grow. Because one magical Tuesday, IT appeared....

... and unaware of the Broadly passion awaiting to envelope them, the Sisters watched a tall, lanky, geeky Geek stroll in and announce, �I�m the next American Idol.� But being, as I pointed out, not yet aware of the Broadliness to be, the Sisters barely noticed. They were too stunned by the performance of Simon�s �worst singer in the world� �who actually was � to realize they had been touched by the Clay magic.

In time, the top 32 were selected, and the Sisters� weekly ritual commenced. A small connection, but not quite on the same wave length.

KC P: �Wow! That Frenchie�s amazing!!�

NC J: �How in Hades did that Charles get past the audition?�

Groups were formed and the Sisters continued to talk ... but still they had no clear connection.

P: �How could they ban Frenchie! She was the one!!�

J: �Why is Charles still on?? I have more talent than he does!�

P: �Unh, sis, you have no talent.�

J: �My point. Get it.�

Then Group 2 performed ... and tiny Broadly tremors began to disturb the data waves as the Sisters finally SPAKE AS ONE �

P: �Clay was robbed!!�

J: �Clay was robbed!!�

As one, they patiently waited and put their faith into the Wild Card show ... and they were rewarded!!

(Must have been Sister J�s doing on the faith thing. Good job, J!!)

Sadly, however, the Sisters had not yet entered the vortex of Broadly ClayLust. They were connecting, but they weren�t yet feeling. BUT THEN - Clay strolled confidentially onto the stage and sang I Can�t Help Myself ...

... and a Broadly thunderbolt struck the obsessive Sister down to her curling toes.

P: �OMG! OMG! OMG! What was that move?�

J: �I cannot believe Charles is still on this show!!�

[Okay, so P didn�t actually say that then. She says it now whenever she watches the slight beginnings of The Move on Brude Tony�s DVD. Back to the Tale.]

One Sister down. One to go. Unbeknownst to the Sisters, Broadliness was seeping into their bones. Sister P fairly trembled with it, as each week, Clay became more and more irresistible.

From HOT ...

To HOTTER ...

To Freaking SCORCHING!!! ...

And at last Sister J shook with Broadly ClayLUST!! The Sisters were well and truly connected!

The magic of The Clay Connection gripped them. They talked about Clay. They worried about Clay. They rejoiced in Clay! -- Together! They felt tinglies they had forgotten existed. They squealed in anticipation � and they swooned together when he sang his incredible final note of the competition.

Then came Black Wednesday -- the May Day of Infamy to be forever banned from memory � to shroud their joy. And again, the Sisters SPAKE AS ONE --

P: �CLAY WAS ROBBED!!!�

J: �CLAY WAS ROBBED!!!�

The Tuesday night ritual ended, and the Sisters floundered. They felt bereft � no weekly Clay! What were they to do? Life felt empty, purposeless. How were they to cope? And then ... in early June ... Serendipity guided Sister P to the Land of the Broads. Well, actually Google-dipity did and it was a fortuitous link.

(c)Anne�s Garden, 2001

The first LBFCA Main Page she saw honored the Clay Bridge. Yellow buttercups. Clay It Forward moments. �Well, this doesn�t seem so lecherous,� thought Sister P, moving on. But for some reason she came back. Perhaps because the word Lecherous was so deliciously tantalizing. Or perhaps it was the memorable photo of the Founding Broads with Glendale Clay. Or perhaps it was simply the Broadly connection she did not yet know was there. She saw the launching of Broad Magazine. She saw the Drooling Stone, 1 and 2. Eventually, she found the Purple Pages and was well and truly swept into the eye of the Broadmuda.

She hesitated to share this with Sister J � whose initial reaction had been rather dampening. Sister J was clearly underwhelmed -- possibly even dismayed � to learn her little sis was hanging out with a group of Lecherous Broads.

The American Idol 2 Tour was announced � and a mighty force thrust Lecherous Broads from coast to coast into a frenzy of desire, of pure, unadulterated NEED to see Our Perfect Boyfriend in person!!!

Caught in the madness, swept into absolute delirium by the infamous St. Paul video, Sister P called J one more time.

P: �Wanna do something crazy with me?�

J: �Uhh. ... like what?�

P: �Go see Clay in concert!�

J: �Try to hold me back!!�

So the Sisters journeyed to St Louis, where they finally, at long last, were proud to proclaim their Broadliness. They were with Lecherous Broads! Dang it, they WERE Lecherous Broads!! How could anyone have Clay point at them ... and not instantly BE a Broad???

prudence�s real hand with ring waving in ecstasy as Perfect Boyfriend gives her secret signal.

After experiencing her true birth as a Broad in St. Louis, Sister J followed Sister P's fingertips into the Purple Pages for the first time -- where, each and every day, they shared and enjoyed their sisterhood. Together, they oohed over Elle-Clay, aahed over Cover-Clay, laughed over Fab Five�s MAP adventure, worried over real life problems facing other Broads.

The Broadmuda Triangle surrounded us � and cast the spell of The Clay Connection not only upon the Sisters, but upon all the wonderful, witty, clever and caring Broads and Brudes brought together by their admiration, adoration and sheer love for their true idol, Clay Aiken.

And The Moral of The Story...

Clay Aiken was willing to step out and make himself vulnerable by auditioning for a chance in a million. And through that process he reached thousands of people in ways they never expected. Including Sisters who were as opposite as opposites can be until they were touched by The Clay Connection and together, came to experience the joy within the Broadmuda Triangle.

Proud to Be Sisters, Proud to be Broads

-prudence & J4Clay

To honor the rich history and tradition of LBFCA, a new series makes its way to our illustrious main page. "The Broadmuda Triangle" wants your Broadly (or Brudely) tale. Who are you? What makes YOU a Broad?

Send your story to Marie via email.