2004-10-08
11:18 p.m.

Punk'd!

Up next...Jacob Latrell gets...

Punk'd

Jacob Latrell.

From the Clay Aiken tour.

Back up singer.

Dance captain.

Kenny G wannabe.

What's he going to do next? Hawk thongs and play air guitar? Someone needs to be put in his place.

Our accomplices are the Big Van Broads, who will meet up with Jacob in Dayton, Ohio.

The BVBs have two extra tickets to sell, so they'll head to the ticket window.

Meanwhile, Jacob will be "hiding" from his fans. And of course, the best place for him to hide is the ticket window. He won't run into any fans there, right? And just in case, he'll wear a hoodie. Because someone in a hoodie at a Clay Aiken concert won't attract any attention, right?

*snicker*

Kat's friend Brandy is the first to recognize Jacob, despite his invisibility hoodie. And it was Brandy who had the guts to attempt the punking.

She approaches Jacob with the two tickets.

Brandy: Do you need tickets? Because we have two extras.

Jacob: (looks around nervously) Um, no, I don't need any.

Big Van Broads: *run behind pillar squealing*

Brandy: Are you sure? Because they're good seats.

Jacob: (crouching further into hoodie) No.

Brandy: You should take them. At this point we're willing to give them to someone as long as they're a good Clay fan. Are you a Clay fan?

Big Van Broads: *squeezed together behind pillar jumping up and down*

Jacob: Um...I don't need tickets...I'm in the show.

Brandy: Oh, I'm sorry. Should I have recognized you?

Jacob: (nervous laughter) That's okay. (wanders off, spirit crushed)

Big Van Broads: *pour out from behind pillar to embrace Brandy*

But the punking was not over.

The Big Van Broads streamed into the venue and took their seats, pleased with Brandy's performance.

They were all enjoying a tender moment during the James Taylor set, swaying along with "You've Got a Friend," when evidence of yet another phase of the punk appeared.

There for (apparently) only the Big Van Broads to see, was Jacob's disembodied head, floating across the bottom of the Jumbotron to the beat of "You've Got a Friend".

Big Van Broads: (to each other) Did you see that?

And then his head went floating back the other direction.*

*Pointing, screaming and laughing*

Jacob had suffered enough humiliation. It was time to tell him he got Punk'd.

Outside, after the show, Leah spotted Jacob pacing near the buses on his cell phone.

Leah: Hey! Wanna buy some tickets? They're really good seats!

Jacob: (trying to hide again, this time with his Cellphone of Invisibility) Huh?

Leah: I got two tickets! We're practically giving them away.

Jacob: (looking sheepish) Oh man, I can't believe I fell for that.

***

Note:

All of the events described in this episode of Punk'd actually happened.

It was awesome.

Clay the Prankster would have really liked it.

And you know what Clay does when he likes a prank.

Yes.

He bounces his ass.

And that, my friends, is just one of the many reasons that Clay Aiken is better than Ashton Kutcher.

***

by Kelly and Katynka, with memory assistance from Leah and Melissa.

*The Jacob's Floating Head gif is a recreation of what we all saw that night. We would appreciate corroboration from anyone else who witnessed this phenomenon.