2004-07-13
11:27 p.m.

You Scratch Our Itch

It all started with a note...

pinned to a Sparkly Vest...

in Sin City.

You remember the Sparkly Vest, don't you? Tossed on stage by some Sparkle-lovin' Broads at the Vegas Independent Tour concert?

Since the day those blessed sequins landed on the stage, we have imagined and fantasized about the fate of the Sparkly Vest, but we had no way to know for sure.

In a feverish quest for the truth, Lila sought out Jerome in Dover. If anyone would know what happened to the Sparkly Vest, Jerome would. So Lila inquired if he'd seen the Sparkly Vest. Jerome asked in return, "What does it look like?" Lila replied, "It's Sparkly." Jerome nodded and admitted he may have seen such a thing. Lila asked, "Do you ever see him wearing it?" Jerome smiled.

Oh, Jerome is so coy. We could tell that he'd seen Clay wearing that Sparkly Vest on the bus, but we had no proof.

But now we do.

While the entire Clay Nation rejoiced at the reappearance of Still the One last night, a small, happy band of Hometown Connection Fans had a particular reason to rejoice. You see, pinned to the Sparkly Vest was this note:

So when you strode out on stage in Lexington, KY,

and showed us those old Hometown Connection moves,

still as sexy as they were back then

and when you pulled out the old air guitar

and showed us your dance steps

and even when you dropped the mic

Whoopsy Daisy!

We knew that you were sending a special reply to us.

You were letting us know you read our note, and that you thought, "Still the One....Hmmm...What a great idea those Broads had!"

And you know what else this means?

While rumors fly to explain your recent "bulked up" appearance, and while many surmise that you have been pumping iron, we know what's really causing those bulges under your shirts. Don't we Clay?

Thank you for wearing the Sparkly Vest (even if it had to be hidden under your shirt). Thank you for singing Still the One to us. And keep doing it!

-Written by Katynka, Wendy and Kelly
-Capped and Giffed by Melissa