2004-05-13
11:05 a.m.

The Vincident Revisited

I bet many of you were hoping that this would be one performance we wouldn't commemorate. One best left forgotten. Allowed to fade from our memories. Lost in our collective denial.

I know. It's hard to watch. How many of you skip over Vincent when you play your DVDs? Try to pretend that Grease led right into Mack the Knife? Oh, I'm the same. We're a cowardly lot.

But we shouldn't hide from it.

There is much to celebrate from that night. And I don't just mean the redemption of Mack the Knife and Unchained Melody. No, we should actually be thankful for the Vincident itself.

Seriously.

To test my theory, last night I forced myself to watch it for the first time since that night one year ago today. And even then, with 52 weeks to buffer the hurt, I could feel it all over again.

I remember being excited about the night's format: random choice, judges' choice, and personal picks. And after Kim and Ruben were so lucky with their "random" choices, I, naive soul that I was, imagined a bowl full of wonderful songs that would show off Clay in the best light possible.

But then, as I watched Clay seem to plead to the heavens as he drew his card, I began to have a very bad feeling about things.

Ooh, he didn't look pleased.

But how bad could it be? I mean, Kimberley had the remarkable luck to get Band of Gold. What song could be so bad?

Oh.

That one.

Now, Vincent is a very pretty song. But sad. So sad. Unrelentingly, morbidly, crushingly sad. And wordy. And certainly not a song that would bring the audience to their feet. Just the sight of that one word sucked the energy out of the room, leaving only an oppressive, dark cloud of dread.

Clay didn't look exactly thrilled either. In fact, I think this was the first time I ever saw him look nervous before a performance. That didn't help my own nerves.

But one could pray that the stars on that starry starry night would smile upon him.

He did look awfully pretty.

And he sang pretty.

So pretty. Hauntingly beautiful.

Despite the sadness, I began to have some hope.

And then it happened.

It was just a few short seconds, but it felt like an eternity.

My heart sank�a hard, aching, heaviness deep inside.

But he recovered so well. Very professional. As he would later say, he did ding dang good, considering. (Another reason to be thankful for the Vincident: it gave us "ding dang.")

It would be okay, wouldn't it? After all, it's not like he hadn't flubbed lyrics before. Remember "Girl you call your name" and "You doe I don't"? And all those random lyrics Ruben replaced with "Ooh ooh baby baby"? Messing up lyrics was part of the game. How you handled it was what mattered. Right?

But even then, I knew this was different. That sad, sad song cast a pall over everything.

He knew.

He knew what was coming, even if we didn't.

And he stood there and took it. With grace, dignity, and a lot of eyebrow action.

We now know how much he disliked that song. And that Nigel had been pushing it on him for weeks. And that they added a verse at the last minute for no good reason. And that he didn't get a chance to rehearse the changes.

We know that now. But not then. No, when we watched the judges ream him, we didn't realize how deceptive and manipulative they were being.

And Clay never let on. Made no excuses. Stood tall. But couldn't quite hide the hurt.

It brought some comfort when he was able to join Ryan, who met him with encouraging words and said the things we wanted to say.

He promised that next time he would "bring it."

And he would.

He would shine again and again that night and many nights to follow.

But the Vincident is always there.

Why do we care so much about him? Why are we so protective? Why do we want to hold him, shield him, take him to our collective bosom? (Well, other than that.)

Because of this.

Last night, one year later, as I was finally rewatching that old video, the fandom was fretting and worrying about Clay's appearance on AI3. Why did he have to give up a Larry King Live interview to go back on AI? Why were they making him sing in a group medley? On disco night, of all nights? Why didn't they promote his appearance? What was up? Something must be up.

Would we think this way if it were not for the Vincident? Probably not. All of the distrust and disillusion that culminated in the Anamoly started that night. And has changed the way we view that show. There's always a bowl full of Vincents.

The Vincident made us cynical. Maybe even a bit paranoid.

But it also made us love him more.

That night, it suddenly was clear that it didn't matter what judges and producers thought.

He knew we loved him, and that was all that mattered.

We had new reasons to love and respect him.

Later that night, a night drawn in chiaroscuro, the brightness of Mack the Knife and Unchained Melody would glow all the more brilliantly against the dark bittersweet beauty of Vincent.

Last night, we wouldn't have worried so much about his appearance on AI if it hadn't been for the Vincident.

But we also wouldn�t have enjoyed it as much when he rose above the cheesy manipulative mess we call American Idol, when showed again just what it means to be a heart throb popstar fantasy, when he gave that final triumphant and rebellious look to the judges and sang "I am free, yes I'm free. Now I'm on my way."

"I am free, yes I'm free. Now I'm on my way."*

Yes you are. And so are we.

--Written by Katynka

--Capped by Wendy in Fl, IHeartClay, and Melissa.

*How perfect would the timing be if today's rumors are correct and he is actually free of 19? Was that why he was so happy last night? Could it be that the anniversary of the Vincident marks the end of his indentured servitude? I think the proper words are "poetic justice."

Mack The Knife
Unchained Melody ...