2005-06-25
12:19 p.m.

Sisterhood of the Wicked Pants

It all started the other day, Wednesday, June 22...

The Lecherous Broads were just hanging around at The Ranch on a typical night, waiting for Clay to wake up, when BAM we were hit with some brand new beautiful hi res photos, followed by a flowing rush of delightful new pix the next day:

We examined every detail...both fretted and swooned over Clay's paleness:

Drowned in Clay's sparkly eyes:

Drooled over Clay's long neck and diamond cheekbones:

Licked every freckle and applied balm and healing Broadly kisses to that tender chapped lip:

Counted cinnamon curls:

Cha Cha Trusty even cropped the furry forearm, so we could closely examine the crop circle/tattoo/face/mark of evil/hickey on that arm:

I quickly developed an intense attraction to the forehead curl:

A few of the Vampire Broads claimed responsibility for the neck, ummm, mark (proposing another explanation for Clay's paleness):

Then�well all Broadly heck broke out, when the enlarged version of a certain sumpin showed up, announced with Broadly enthusiasm by MGM PAT:

Here's the whole body shot.....now we can discuss pants and shoes. Lord knows we've covered the top part of the man.

I want to hem those pants.

Wendy in FL defended Clay�s length, and asked an innocent question that sparked a wicked binge:

Hmmmm ... I rather like the long unhemmed britches - but that's just me .. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Are those the DC/WDC pants? I'm not as good at this as say ... LISA ...

Lisa answered:

Well, it's not like I watched that DC WDC video more than, oh say.....150 times or anything, Wendy. *ahem*

But, in my opinion, they are NOT the same pants.

Those pants didn't have stripes, did they?

Wendy tried to answer the question quickly...

Okay...These are the NAT pants...I think...

These are the DC/WDS pants from IT...

Same or different?

I have no clue.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Silly Wendy...that's no way to conduct Broadly research...we need more samples!!!

Joanne in NC tried to help...

Can't believe ahm' doing this but I zoomed in on all those stripey pants and I don't think any are the same.

That was a fun assignment--may I have another?

Good Gawd y'all those are some long toesies.

Karen Eh? threw more pants into the pot:

They might be the NAT pants...BUT...they were definitely the GMA pants from July 2, 2004. ....The concert in the park with the brownshirt pants.

IMHO:

This is fun, playing with his pants like this.

SuzyP chimed in...

I say the NAT pants are the Wicked pants and vice/versa. Come to think of it, both the Wango Tango jeans and the Pants of Perfection were both quite wicked, too...

Oh no, SuzyP! I promised Katynka I would have fewer than 47 photos of Clay on this MP...don't go bringing in pix that don't even feature grey striped pants! We can't have every single pair of Clay Aiken's Wicked Pants on one MP!

Nope...we're not gonna go there...

Otherwise, we'll end up going back to the Original PANTS...

Even if we restrict the page to striped pants, of any color�

We'll never see the end of this MP!

Getting back to the focus of the Wicked Pants...

Jannet had this to say:

Wendy... The stripes are definitely different in the DC/WDC ones but the other two look identical. I think they may the same pants... but not sure about them being the same "pair." The hems of those things would be so frayed after stepping all over 'em in flip flops all summer.

(Gawd! I just love that "long panted, stepping on the back of 'em" look on him!)

And I know I'm late for the discussion on these... but I just love the look on his face...

with the word "Wicked" in the background. He SO knows.

I thought of another pair of Clay's grey striped pants:

What about the pants from the airbrushed promo pic for SNL? The one where Clay was sorta crouching...does anyone have that handy (hee) for comparision?

Wendy found them first...

Pats seconded Keh's vote for the GMA Summer Tour Brown Tiger Pants...

Def the GMA pants. And not necessarily frayed. It's possible he may have two pairs of everything; they have double outfits sometimes ... one to wear onstage while the other's out being laundered.

Amy e agreed:

I'm going with Karen Eh on the pants. I think they are from GMA also.

The Wicked Pants even brought Lila out of lurkerdom...

I can't focus on the pants long enough to say where they might have appeared before. My eyes keep getting drawn by the zipper flap which is even more prominent than his paw-filled, Big.Paw.Filled, pockets...and my vision starts wavering...and the pants start looking like that woozy liquefied-road mirage that you see driving on a hot empty highway...and the pant-stripes start, um, quivering.

So I scroll up, away from the prominence, up to the pretty face, up to that...one...wee...wisp...of hair fishing for a freckle on his milky forehead. And that wisp starts trembling softly, as if caught by my every exhaled breath. So I stop breathing, and look for a safe place to park my eyes before I turn blue....and then....I rest on his eyebrows which have been plucked into oblivion and the air bursts out of me with a guffaw.

Revived, I scroll down again...

*sigh* The boy can sure wear him some PANTS! New ones, reruns, long ones, short ones....PANTS!

CLAY! Come back! Come play! Sing a SONG! It's been too long. Bring it! And the Pants!!

Well, if she's gonna put it that way, the least I can do is bring her a close up of said zipper flap...(where's Lorelei?)

Jill was a little less lyrical...

Gawd, I haven't read but the first page yet, and I can categorically state.....y'all scare me. I am effing delighted. I thought I was the weirdest one. : ) HEE.

I have no opinion on which pair of pants it was....I just wanna lick em. : ) Like....off. Like....to never be seen again. Yeah, then we'd have a new pair to study. Always thinking of y'all, I am...

CaroleZ thought of something related to mothering...oh, yes, I must include this on the MP, because everyone (heh) knows how Clay�s fans just want to mother him...

I remember the day when my daughters would wear their expensive jeans that long, and it created quite a bit of tension in this household. Now the only tension I can think of, is the one being created in those pants!!

For some reason, the Wicked Pants stirred Erin to have thoughts about Clay�s size...

I think the pants could most definitely be the NAT pants and the GMA Bryant Park pants. The IT pants were lighter grey and were very wicked, but definitely not "the Wicked pants." I love talking shop with y'all. At first I thought they could be those pants from the People's Sexiest Men issue, but I tripled checked and scrutinized them and I'm seeing a different stripe pattern. Maybe he didn't keep the clothes from that shoot. If he had I'm sure we would have seen the other clothing at least 5 times by now. (I love that he recycles clothes, btw. See how much fun we're having here?) I don't mind long pants hanging down to the ground so they get a nice little rough edge going, but these pants are ridiculous long. It makes him appear as he he's short and he's not. he's 6'1" for Christ's sake! Where does he buy his clothes? Giants 'R' Us?

Hmmm, just because she ruled them out, is no reason to leave them off this MP...

Ohhh, yea�something wicked this way comes�

Cha Cha Trusty brought over another pair of SNL promo pants, with just a sliver of grey striped knee...

I found some large images of the snl pix with the pants... these look grayish and the others from last night look greenish to me. They could have been bought at the same time - two pairs the same but different colors!

StLLinda had some wicked thoughts of her own...

And I love those smash em into the ground long pants! The man needed me there though to rub my body on those pants and steam those wrinkles out!

Later, I remembered another pair of Clay's grey striped pants...

Yes, I know those are not even close...that doesn't stop me from enjoying the continuing research...

I was beginning to think Clay has as many pairs of grey striped pants as he has Purple Ties!

Ohh, and I just remembered the IT Wicked Pants traveled to London:

Finally, Katynka brought us home�

Kat comes home to the Double O after a long day. The ranch house is ablaze with lights. The Broads are still up, one group sitting around the kitchen table with Cookie, another group sprawled out on the living room couches, some on the floor, and a few giggling in the bedroom (Erin? Jannet? Is that you in there?)

The entire house is strewn with photographs of striped pants of all sorts.

Magnifying glasses are out. Lila is back home in her deerstalker cap. Lisa has her database of crotch shots up while MGM Pat is assuring Nelle that they don't need her tie catalog right now. Jill has a book of fabric samples, and SuzyP is passing around trays of Blue Waldos.

Kat smiles contentedly. All's right with the world again.

Now, here it is, days later, and I find Shieldmaiden was inspired to borrow from the Aiken Random Lyric Generator to create a medley about the Wicked Pants:

Thus ends this installment of the Sisterhood of the Wicked Pants.

To think, it all started with a simple pair of grey striped pants�oh, and the man inside them ;-)

Nelle

Thanks to all of the Clack gatherers for the Wicked Pants pix
Thanks to all the Lecherous Broads who shared their creative and enthusiastic responses to Wicked Pants