2004-03-12
7:55 p.m.

BEVR: Jannet and Karen Eh?/Washington D.C., 03/05/04

Roadtrip...

The word brings to mind so many images from the past... and I never imagined I'd ever do one again. It's one of those things that gets put out to pasture in your "old" age... kind of like dreams. And then... Clay.

Karen, Eh? and I set out on OURS from Lila's N.J. perch on Friday morning, partially sated, but not yet having had enuf, from Uniondale the night before. Face it... it's never enuf! Last minute "ticket check" and we were out the door. Lila dropped us at Budget to pick up our Ford Focus and we were on our way to Washington D.C... to meet the Prez.

How could a four-hour roadtrip fly by so fast? But given the Clay CD that Pejay had presented us with the night before, the gurrlish chit chat indigenous to Broads-in-heat and Karen Eh?�s lead foot clocking the speedometer at 90 for most of the trip we were there ALMOST before I was ready...

(Hey, I had to make sure I had enough time to get there and back incase we brought the wrong tickets!)

What struck me most about our drive was remembering last summer... reading all the peculiar (yet wonderful) BEVRs... of Broads hooking up, going to concerts together, having never met before... That would NEVER be ME. It didn't make sense. The Internet is such a scary place! And then suddenly... I am navigating MapQuest directions to a person (speed demon that she is...) who I truly consider to now be one of my dearest friends. How strange is that??? Anyway...it's all Clay Aiken's fault.

(Yeah, that's right; Clay Aiken mixed up our tickets...)

Washington D.C. was bright, sunny and 75 degrees... and a bit humid. But what�s a little added humidity in the scheme of things...

OK... Zooming fast forward.

Check into the Marriott (Karen Eh? and I LURVE the Marriott.)

(The Marriott DOES have a superior staff...)

Quick-change... fly to Fado's... Sea of Purple... There are Broads in da house!!!

At the risk of being repetitive... it didn't make sense! How could I feel such an immediate bond with all these wonderful, beautiful women? It was astounding and almost... overwhelming. I know you'll all agree� there is NOTHING like finally tacking a face to a Broad! There were so many of us crammed around those two tiny tables in that smoky pub and it was LOUD, so I didn't have the opportunity to talk "intimately" with each and every one. But a wild and crazy time was being had by all and the goodies were flyin'! And yes, Mary in MD was doin' her thang!

On to the MCI!

We decide to stick with Evargo and her friend just in case something goes awry with the tickets she had purchased from us which had already been scanned... LAST NIGHT in Uniondale. As silly as that sounds� we are feeling at this point that nothing is over "until the fat ladies" squeeze their *sses through that turnstile...

Outside the arena, while Evargo tries to sell her "other" tickets, two women approach us who we haven�t met before. They are wearing purple "It's All Clay Aiken's Fault" tee shirts. Putting one and one together, we surmise they are Broads. They turn out to be Sheri in Seattle and Mare!!! (Public service announcement break to say that if you ever get the opportunity to meet these two... DO! They are awesome!... and totally worthy of the shirts on their backs.)

But there's a concert... and Clay is on first.

Turnstile clicks... 6 times. Yay! We're in!

(This is so easy when you�re holding the right tickets!)

Karen Eh? and I head to our section, showing our legitimate tickets one more time... and AGAIN, we pass through TPTB! It takes so very little to make us happy these days... Down to row 5 and to our seats on the left... or was that the right? We choose the left block of seats which are "closest to the stage"... believing, after all, that they are the ones we had purchased. And they are really AWESOME seats!

Beu Sisters sing... Anticipation MOUNTS!

People approach us and tell us we�re sitting where they're supposed to be sitting... and we suddenly realize our mistake. We should have dressed right. But since the seats in the row behind are empty, we grab those.

Lights go down. Place goes into overdrive! Sheer pandemonium! Where IS HE? From which side is he COMING??? We soon realize that Sheri in Seattle and Mare, on the opposite side of the arena have seized the golden tickets. He comes down the stairs right past them, crosses the breadth of the arena... with Jerome's omnipresent hand on his shoulder. He turns right in front of our section and heads up the stairs onto stage left. That is the closest we will get to him all evening... sort of.

OK, we have AWESOME SEATS... right? In the overall big picture... YES. In comparison to having "had" him from the third row last night in Uniondale?.... NO. We have been spoiled forever.

We want... no, we NEED to see the now three-day stubble UP CLOSE and to SEE the sheen of sweat on that sweet brow. We NEED to experience, again, the electric JOLT that penetrates you to the core when your eyes meet HIS if only for a fleeting millisecond. But most importantly we need to be in a place where we have at least a chance in h*ll of being on the receiving end of the Grand Pooba� the Grand Daddy of them ALL... THE COMPLETE AND THOROUGH... EYE... um... thingy. (Which immediately brings to mind the potential hazards of combining electrical jolts... with liquid.) YIKES!

But back to reality...

His set is incredible and I think we enjoy it almost MORE than the previous night. Just like sex... it's sooo much better the second time. Don't worry, Shieldwoman... you'll come around... About half way into it another group of people come down the aisle looking tentatively at their tickets and then at us. A "milling" Broad's work is never done... We immediately dislike them, not because they are taking our seats... but because they are causing a disturbance in the middle of Clay's set. Is nothing sacred to you people?!!!

Anyway, this time we back up several rows and go as far across the row as we can until we reach a sea of empty seats. We are alone, safe and confidently... settled. (Just an FYI for anyone trying to attend a concert at the last minute, we think the entire section had just opened up... and there were PLENTY of seats to be had... at cost.)

And then... it happened. Quite by accident we discover a best-kept secret! I don't remember what song he was singing, I think it was "I Survived You"... Karen Eh? and I both looked to our left almost simultaneously, as if beckoned, and he... was... THERE!... looming LARGE above us... gaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! I believe it was then that we both puddled.

(Actually, I DIED right then and there, and can now only converse in ghostly italics.)

JUMBOTRON Warning! Do not try this without heavy-duty panty liners!... or bring a MOP!

Now we are not just talking about that very large screen that is easily visible from ANY vantage point in the ENTIRE arena. We are talking about UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL! We are talking CINERAMA! We are talking IN OUR FACE! I can hardly think about it now without... excusing myself. In fact...

BRB...

OK, back. Breathe...

Now, I know what you're all thinking. How could we get so excited about a mere video screen with Clay in the house? To tell you the truth we�re not sure. But the tragedy of it was that we somewhat wasted precious moments at first as we kept forcing our eyes to look towards "real" Clay... even though our new love interest, J.T., kept pulling us back... as if he were saying "Look at me! I�m here... Pay no attention to that fellow on stage... We can have our own party... right up here." Little did we know what he had in mind. Broads... all we can say is IT WAS INTENSE... it was almost TOO MUCH! We saw the stubble and the sweat! He teased us... He played us... and then he RAVAGED us! Karen Eh? and I held on to each other and begged for mercy...

(Mercy never came. Pity...)

And when he was done with us, he did something that one would only expect from a true gentleman...

He kissed us.

And we will never be the same.

We staggered out into the lobby afterwards and headed for the lounge where we immediately called Lila and sqeeeeeeled. We missed Kelly (again), but there would be plenty of opportunity for her later. I don't think either one of us wanted to do anything that would spoil the moment or distract from the utter HIGH we were feeling. I'm sure it sounds crazy... but they were the most incredible few moments with Clay... EVER. Would we do it again? "O" yea!

(Nuff said! Except... since when did they stop carding 14 year olds in bars?)

And it's probably a very good thing that we didn't know at the time that "Waldo was in the house." A sufficient mess was made as it was.

Mopping it up...

Thank you Karen and John Nyere for the wonderful after concert tour of DC. You are special people. Sooo great to get to meet you and spend some time with you! But it still holds firm... The Washington Monument has nothin' on our man.

Red Roof Inn Broads.... Mwaaaaaaaah! That was fun! We'll have to do it again. I'm sure we will. That's the beauty of it...

We walked back to our hotel in the rain and got soaking wet. It was the perfect end to a perfect evening.

Written by Jannet ~ who thoroughly enjoyed her first EVER m�nage a trois...

With odd interjection by Karen Eh? when she could muster the strength to type in her ghostly italics...

Picture courtesy of Measure of a Fan

Posted by Katynka