2003-09-04
3:20 p.m.

BEVR: Erin/San Jose

Broad's Eye View Report: Erin/San Jose

It all started the minute the lights came up in Memphis. Immediately my post-concert depression set in. All I could think was �That�s it, it�s over, who knows when you�ll see him in person again!�

The ache to see Clay again grew stronger everyday and I started pondering �What if there never is a solo tour?� �What if something happens to Clay?� �What if I die tomorrow?� Okay � so I�m slightly dramatic. I prefer the term passionate, but whatever.

I started rationalizing the idea of seeing another concert:

- I like to do things in threes. I was born on the third day of the third month, thus, I should definitely see three concerts.

- Hmm, I could definitely go to a Saturday show and not have to miss any work.

- I could go to San Jose � I�ve actually been there many times, so it wouldn�t be like going to this totally strange place (like Salt Lake City).

- If I went to San Jose � I would meet Nelle!

- Joe�s never been to California � we could go sightseeing.

- It�s a holiday weekend, even better!

I met Joe for dinner and told him what I was considering doing. Surprisingly, I didn�t receive a lecture from Joe about how this is too much, too extreme, and that I need to regain control of myself. Instead, Joe smiled and said �I would love to go to California.�

Uh oh. I said, �Joe, you know you have just given me the green light and if I can find good seats off of Ticketmaster, don�t make any plans for next weekend because chances are we�ll be in California!

So I found 2nd row seats on Ticketmaster. I bought them, bought plane tickets, and then I panicked! "What am I doing? Have I lost my mind?"

After a pep talk from Robin, Nelle, Julie and another from Robin, I felt better and didn�t look back after that. I told Robin I wish she could come, especially to meet Nelle and was shocked when Robin came over the night before I left and brought me my �Air Plane, NOT AIR BAND, Survival Kit� which included all red goodies (cinnamon and cherry) along with a Krispy Kreme donut card. This broad totally rocks, I tell ya!

I was able to score my copy of Entertainment Weekly at the airport. I remembered the whole Rolling Stone debacle in which I traveled to over 14 stores in 2 days until I found it � while many jet setting broads had long gotten their hands on the Rolling Stone at the airport! Ooh, I was so excited. I kept staring at the new pics and drooling while in flight. After about a � hour, Joe informed me that I �could put the magazine away now.�

Being back in California was surreal. As a child I lived outside of Sacramento, but I had not been back to San Jose, San Francisco, or any part of California for that matter, in over 16 years. Everything was just like I remembered it. Memories came flooding back and I was really too excited for words.

The day of the concert I was really pumped. I knew I would be attending my first ever pre-concert party put on by the totally amazing PRoC! (Hi to any PRoC�ers lurking!) I got a call from Raleighgirl who as at the hotel! Then I called Nelle. I told Nelle I was still having to pinch myself to realize that I was really here. Joe and I got ready way early because I couldn�t wait any longer. I put my entire get up on and boy was I a sight to behold. I had decided to change up my concert apparel this go round.

I made a t-shirt (mucho thanks to Katynka and Wax Goddess Beth!) which I ironed-on my famous pic of me holding my sign in Atlanta on the front and on the back I ironed-on the words FAMOUS LECHEROUS BROAD ERIN. Yes I am such a fame �ho. I also upgraded my red boa to a huge feather one. Then I made Joe walk up and down the streets of San Jose with me. I know I totally looked like a �ho and Joe looked like my pimp. Yes, we got lots of strange stares, but eventually a caravan of �I love Clay� SUV�s and minivans honked and yelled out their windows!

Finally it was time to meet Raleighgirl and mini-Raleighgirl in the lobby. The elevator opens up and out walks the most beautiful mother and daughter pair. I think to myself �This is Raleighgirl?� She looks way too normal and well adjusted to be a broad, a broad who has flown clear across the country just to see Clay, no less! Seeing Raleighgirl made me feel better about myself and my sanity. I�m sure I had the exact opposite effect on Raleighgirl. She must have questioned her own sanity when she saw me and I immediately handed her a boa and a mini-boa to mini- Raleighgirl.

We walked to the PRoC party where we were to meet Nelle. I learned that mini- Raleighgirl actually attended the YMCA camp when Clay was a counselor there (or Gonzo as mini- Raleighgirl remembers him)! We got to the party � there were all these cool Clay fans, but no Nelle!

We sat and chatted with the PRoC�ers and exchanged stories, etc., and still no Nelle. Finally Nelle calls and says she�ll be there soon. Not too much later, I see her, I see Nelle! I jump up and almost fall down as I�m trying to run to Nelle to hug her! I give Nelle her boa (which I know is not really Nelle-like, but figure she must experience some of the glamour that being a broad is really about) and Robin�s gift. Nelle has gifts, too! A Twister! Broads! Dang! pin and a BIRD using Julie�s great design!

The PRoC also made me a pin that has my name and LBFCA on it. I also wearing my LBFCA pin that Gail made and gave to me in Memphis! I�m running out of room and my boa is covering all my pins up. So I place some right under the picture on my t-shirt, right across my chest. Yes this is so lecherous and I love it! I also have Robin�s LBFCA sign, which she made and wore to the Atlanta and Memphis concerts, pinned on the back of my shirt. This way a part of Robin is with me!

I had a blast at the pre-concert party. The PRoC is our strongest ally in the Claynations and I felt at home with all of them. I even got to take the famous PRoC quiz that Tony and Melissa took in D.C. and I feel an instant connection with them. (I so would have won that quiz if it hadn�t had all that PRoC trivia). Nelle spotted a friend from real life over at the ClaytonAiken.com party (just a few tables over from us). Susieq (sp?) sat down with us and chatted, out of the corner of her eye she spotted Joe and had to do a double take because for a second she thought he was Clay. I was so happy. I always tell Joe that he looks a lot like Clay. It�s not a �separated at birth� kind of thing, but they definitely have a similar look.

I met several very famous PRoC�ers. It was a complete honor to meet Spotlightlover. I was so thrilled that she got into the meet �n greet that night and I got to hear her first hand report. It was so exciting. There were some other women who also went to the meet �n greet that night. They would come in holding up their autographs and we would scream with joy!

I was in heaven.

As we headed down to the arena, many people commented on my shirt, �Oh you�re Lecherous Broads?� YES WE ARE! We got lots of compliments about the board and I was sure to let everyone know they were in the presence of the QUEEN B herself, Nelle! Nelle, I�m so glad you were able to experience the joy of being a celebrity!

Heading into the arena I notice that all the security people are wearing bright purple blazers. Did someone notify them that LBFCA was in the hizzouse???

Inside the arena we meet Susanne, who thanks to my shirt knew that we were Lecherous Broads. We hugged and chatted and encourage her to post more often and share her BEVR. She was with her friend Peggy and they had made some really cute signs. Susanne had this awesome red velvet crown for Clay, His Royal Hotness. (Susanne � I also saw Clay pick up your crown and move it!)

I decided that I was going to enjoy the entire concert and savor every moment. I stood up for the entire thing, yes for everyone. Previously, in Atlanta and Memphis I had chosen to sit down out of protest and exhaustion for certain people. When Ricky came out Joe stood up too and stayed standing with me! Yay Joe.

When Clay came out for TITN � I couldn�t believe how lucky I was to be witnessing all of this again I was pretty calm compared to Atlanta and Memphis, but when Clay pushed that mic stand to the side and did his knee bed, I lost control: I jumped up and down, I screamed like a maniac, I grabbed a hold of Joe because my knees were going weak and trembling and I was going down�.

I gave Joe the camera so that I could scream, freak out and hold up my sign when appropriate. I also figured Joe would not be trembling with lust and would probably be able to take better pictures. Every so often I would obnoxiously scream, �Take his picture! Take his picture NOW!� Joe would look at me like �what do you think I am doing?� Okay, so I�m melodramatic AND I have control issues.

Intermission came and I left Joe to go find Nelle. We hugged and chatted and then Raleighgirl and mini- Raleighgirl came over. They had some exciting news about Clay and their sign. Although, I actually saw Clay when he noticed them and waved.

In Atlanta and Memphis the TGIM banter was pretty dull compared to other cities. I had yet to hear Clay say �panties� in person. Since Ruben was sick in San Jose, Ricky came out to do the banter which was great because Clay talked even more. Spotlightlover�s panties were a huge hit and it was so exciting to see Clay hold up something that I had touched hours ago! Also thanks to Churchmouse, I got to witness Clay eat! What a sight. He gobbled up those donuts like he hadn�t eaten in days.

Invisible was great. He was more into it than in Atlanta, but much less sexual than in Memphis. Really he just looked like he was having so much fun. He jumped up and down a couple of times. Also I was able to get a lot of his ear that night. The hair on the right side of his head was pushed back (he had been fiddling a lot with his earpiece that night) so his right ear was totally exposed. As I told the broads on our way back to the hotel that night, �I was all about the right ear tonight.�

Raleighgirl and mini-Raleighgirl said their goodbyes and called it a night as they were leaving early the next morning for home. Nelle, Joe and I sat down in the lobby to chat. Joe had a terrible headache and I was completely drained from the time difference and all the excitement. Therefore, I made lame conversation with Nelle on my part. Sorry Nelle. There are so many things I want to say and to talk to you about, but I flubbed.

PRoC�ers passed by the hotel and saw us, they came in and visited, many of whom were leaving immediately for Anaheim! We all compared concert stories and gushed over Clay. Nelle even took notes! Ha! Nelle mentioned seeing WALDO GO UP! (one of the PRoC�ers had a Waldo doll which she tossed up on stage). We all burst out laughing and Joe decided it was time for him to go to bed. He hugged Nelle goodbye and told the rest of us �Good night ladies � it�s time that I make myself � INVISIBLE!� and clutched his shirt! Oh that Joe is too much. Everyone got a kick out of him and I was so proud to call him mine.

Mr. Nelle came and picked up Nelle. Many hugs and I love you�s and see you soon � FO SHIZZLE!

All three concerts were extremely different and unique in their own ways. I was able to attend one with my family, one with a broad, and one with my boyfriend of four years. I traveled half an hour, seven hours through four states, and all the way across the country. I loved each and every single one of them.

The ATLANTA experience can be summed up as: �Oh My God Clay is real! He is not a figment of my imagination. I can�t believe we actually breathed the same air!� AND �There really are thousands of people who love Clay as much as I do. Wow, it is so much fun to meet Clay fans!�

MEMPHIS: �This is absolutely the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life. I am beginning to wonder if Clay is the second of coming Christ.� AND �I love the Lecherous Broads so much. They are the coolest fans. I have met a real broad who has become a real friend for life, love you Robin.�

SAN JOSE: �This guy is too much! He really is adorkeable. I�m so happy that I am one of his many fans. He truly is an amazing person.� AND �I�m so proud to be a Clay fan, I�m so honored to meet other Clay fans, and I�m so blessed to have Clay fans that I call friends. It is indescribable to meet fans that have flown all over the country and the world just to see this guy. It is a testament to Clay and the wonderful person that he is. I will spend the rest of my life loving this man, following him around like an idiot, and making bonds with other Clay fans.�

In San Jose I stood there at the Compaq Center in the second row watching the �man of my dreams� perform on stage wile standing next to the �man who makes all my dreams come true.� I could not have asked for more.

I never had to tone it down or worry about offending Joe, he�s just not the jealous type, obviously. THANK GOD. However, watching Clay in San Jose I saw something which I had never seen in person, I saw dorky Clay. I�ve seen dorky Clay on t.v., video, pictures, and I absolutely love, love, love dorky Clay, but at the concerts, hot, sexy and God of all that is gorgeous is all that I had previously seen. Even what others might have classified as dorky moments in Atlanta and Memphis I saw as sex on a stick.

San Jose was different. Of course �hot and sexy Clay� was in San Jose and �Beautiful face radiating light Clay� was there, too, but there were moments when I saw him as a total goofball. He made a few faces where I thought, �Whoa that was a silly face.�

I told Joe that I think he is like kryptonite and when in the same room as Clay - Clay�s power over me is weakened. I believe this only happens when they are near one another and Clay can sense Kryptonite Joe is near.

Please do not misconstrue this to mean that I am in anyway less attracted to Clay or wondering if I�m less than a fan than I thought. I�ve still got it bad, and yes it keeps getting more intense each time I see him in person. I don�t know why that happens, but it is a fact. I�m still Clay�s broad, Clay�s gurrl, and Clay�s b**ch, but I�m Joe�s woman!