We at the LBFCA would like to wish those Broads who celebrate Festivus a happy and eventful holiday! May your Pole be strong, your Grievances be fruitful, and your family head be pinned quickly.

And for those who don't celebrate Festivus...a lesson:

THE FESTIVUS POLE

Christmas has the tree.

Chanukah has the menorah.

Festivus has the Pole.

The Pole must be tall, skinny devoid of all tinsel, and have a very high strength-to-weight ratio. Tinsel is far too distracting and the Broads don�t want nothin� distracting us while tending to our tall, skinny, strong Pole!

THE AIRING OF GRIEVANCES

During the past year, a number of people have disappointed the Broads in the following ways...being rude and disrespectful to Our Beloved, spreading lies and rumors about him, and being major poopyheads.

Keeping the Spirit of Festivus alive throughout the year, the Broads take every opportunity to inform those egregious individuals and organizations that they have run afoul of those who support kindness, good taste, and a Certain Redhead.

THE FEATS OF STRENGTH

Clay Aiken is a peaceful man. He does not resort to fisticuffs in order to demonstrate his prowess during Festivus and throughout the year. Instead, he chooses the dignified path�

POW!

BLAM!

BIFF!

And the winner is... Clayton Aiken

Don't save it all for Festivus Day...be snarky all year long!

-- with many thanks (and no grievances at all) to Cindy, Julie, and Danielle, as well as Frank Costanza, whose wisdom may not fill us with holiday cheer, but it certainly fills us with something...