2003-04-03
10:28 a.m.

Useless

Okay - last night's show was, in a word, useless. I mean, it was even more useless than usual. We had to sit through yet another insipid Q&A (made only marginally amusing by the big ol' peroxide job who wanted to know what Simon's favorite song was), the borderline Showgirls-esque "Car Wash" segment (interesting how the girls got lathered up and shoved their asses in the camera, while the guys zanily horsed around in jumpsuits three sizes too big for them), and the tepid-yet-painful group numbers....and for what? For what, I ask you?

Okay - the look on Simon's face when Seacrest made the big "announcement" that they would all be spared the axe almost made up for the turgid hour that preceded it.

Almost.

I had bet my sister that they wouldn't even mention the Corey Clark Scandal� on Tuesday night's show, believing (as I feel is only right and proper) that the show operates like some incredibly wealthy, beautiful, yet utterly fucked-up and dysfunctional family. Like, the errant son has done the unforgivable, so the Father gathers the rest of the family and announces, "As of today, you no longer have a brother named Corey." And no one will question it.

She insisted that they would have to address it in "a glib opening comment." I bet her ten dollars, and I bet her in front of both Shari and Paula, and you know, well, I lost that bet, and it's a good thing I didn't place monetary value on my predictions for bottom three, because clearly I don't know what the hell I'm talking about anymore.

Discuss.

-Lisa