2003-08-09
12:37 p.m.

BEVR: Theresa/Charlotte

Broad's Eye View Report: Theresa/Charlotte

It is our great honor and privilege to present The Much Anticipated BEVR of Our Lady of Charlotte herself...THERESA.

LBFCA will be eternally grateful to her for representing us as the loving, admiring fans we truly are.

It is only fitting that Theresa's BEVR graces the main page on the most revered day in LBFCA land...Official A** Saturday. Theresa brought this tribute to Butterbuns' attention during a most amazing encounter with him yesterday. Go here to watch the beautiful Theresa in action.

Without further ado...

Theresa's BEVR

First off, I wanna tell how it happened that that the gods smiled upon me that glorious Friday in Charlotte, NC, and placed me square in the arms of Sugarpants the Magnificent.

A few days after the most woeful Wednesday on record, I was doing my darn level best to get the radio stations playing the most awesome first single ever. I called maybe three times, when the DJ recognized my voice, put me on the air, and let me ramble on, gushing like a 12 year old, for the better part of 10 minutes. They asked me my age (43) and asked me if I was hot for a 24 year old guy!!! I said "Are you freakin' nuts? Have you SEEN this guy?" I told them all about all the fun and freaky stuff I was finding on message boards and in chat rooms, and generally just had a great time discussing??HIM??..

When we were off the air, they said I was...uh..."entertaining," and asked me to call EVERY DAY(!!!!!!!!!!) and tell them what's going on with our special guy...a chore I was all too happy to complete. I even mentioned the LBFCA in one of my spots, along with a lot of other sites dedicated to the One I Love.

I even spent an hour one morning IN THE STUDIO talking about baby, playing his demo CD on the air and generally letting the rest of the world know everything I knew about Downy Ball and all His Magnificence.

Then Monday, I heard they were giving away passes to come to the station and see him LIVE AND IN PERSON, and I shot them an email saying, "how about some passes for your Aiken correspondent?", fully expecting to get a polite but firm "You have to win the contest like everyone else."

On Tuesday when I opened the email from the station saying, that I had 2 passes waiting at the station, I hyperventilated and had to lie down on the floor of my office, where I lay murmuring "There's no place like home...there's no place like home."

Friday morning, my lovely daughter Ashley and I made our merry way to the radio station, passing by many less fortunate souls who had gathered outside hoping for a mere glimpse of His Gloriousness. We walked into the room where there were 30 or so lucky, lucky people gathered, and were taken immediately to the front of the room and given a spot not 6 FEET from where the mayor stood preparing to declare Clay Aiken Day in Charlotte. It's a flippin' miracle I didn't wet myself, and Ash kept saying ?breathe, Mama, just breathe???..?

Twenty minutes later, the angels sang, trumpets sounded, and Clay (o god) walked into the room. He looked fresh from bed (o god), and was wearing flipflops (o god) and the hair was au naturel (o god). And broads and brudes-------he needed a shave (o my freakin' god)!!!!!! I have to tell you, too, that Butterstud must have known it was Package Day, because the Grand Poobah was definitely in attendance...evident even in pants that no doubt belonged to the Big Bear from Birmingham.

The mayor talked while about His Marvelousness (yadda yadda yadda) I have no idea what the heck he said, as I was having trouble closing my mouth, and there was an unusual buzzing sound in my ears. How high can your blood pressure go before your hearts busts?

After the mayor, the DJs interviewed him a little bit...again, I have no idea what was said, but fortunately, the BEST DAUGHTER IN THE WORLD was taking pictures as fast as her little fingers could snap. Then...the DJs turned to Clay the Magnificent and said "We want to introduce you to your biggest fan, Theresa, who called us every day with the Aiken Update" at which point all my bodily functions simply just ceased. I walked over to him, straight into those ARMS...o god o god o god o god!!!

THEN, the DJ, obviously not understanding that I had an IQ level of 10 at that point, stuck the mic in my face ( we are on the air, for god's sake) and said "So what do you want to say to Clay?" I was totally incapable of speech for what seemed like eternity, with all manner of inappropriate things running through my mind, when finally the Holy Grail...I remembered the doughnut but on the LBFCA site!!! which I then blurted out, getting a sweet, sweet giggle from my gorgeous guy. I have NO idea what was said after that!...I think I mentioned the buzzing in my ears (?)

We got his autograph on the Black and White pic of the gods in Rolling magazine, and Ash got a pic with him as well (she's the cute blonde). We raced off to the 1 hour photo to get the pics developed, and then ran all over Charlotte, showing Baby to anyone and everyone who would look. People asked if they could touch me, just because I had touched him.

I can now die happy, because at the concert, my seats were to the side of the stage. Downy Ball did 4 (count them! 4!) jersey tugs, and they were ALLLLLLLL on my side of the stage. I got a hug, a good look at the package!...(Claymate down!!!!!), and 4 jersey tugs. I will never, ever be the same.

-Theresa

Theresa has generously offered a link to pictures of the glorious event.

Krispy Kreme Delight, indeed.

-Nelle and Marie

Note from Nelle: You, too, can participate in the LBFCA Summer Series, and have your Broad's Eye View Report, or, for any other Brude's out there, your Summary of Clay, about Clay's Summer Concert Tour on the LBFCA Main Page. Just send it to Nelle via email, and she'll post it ASAP. (If you are a lurker, or otherwise wish to remain anonymous, just let me know that in your email). Don't worry about your BEVR not being the same size or looking the same as anyone elses. Here at LBFCA we celebrate diversity. Every BEVR is unique. This is your personal experience of witnessing what Katynka so gloriously described as "a little hockey-jersey-clutchin,' white-leather-wearin,' DTTR revealin,' mic-flickin,' thigh-strokin,' eye-f***ing, smokin,' jokin,' singin,' hunk-o-burnin' libido."