2006-01-21
2:55 p.m.

Guiding Light

Odin wakes from his midday nap, stretches, and checks the clock.

"Time for my stories!"

He gets a box of bonbons, settles into his lazy boy, and clicks the remote.

*door opens, Clay enters*

Clay: Reva! My Love!

Reva, why are you crying! You're supposed to be happy! Tomorrow is our wedding day, the day you finally become Mrs. Reva Shayne Lewis Lewis Spaulding Lewis Cooper Lewis Lewis Aiken. Come here, darling.

*tries to embrace her; she pulls away*

Clay: Reva, what is wrong?

Reva: *in tears* We can't get married! You have been unfaithful to me!

Clay: What?

Reva: *crying* You have! You've been fooling around with all of the women of Springfield behind my back!

Clay: I have not!

Reva: *crying* How can a sweet, innocent young virgin like me be wed to a lyin', cheatin', no-good, womanizing scoundrel like you?

Clay: Erm...Reva? How many men have you been married to again? Let's see, there was Billy Lewis. Harlan Lewis. Josh Lewis. Huey Lewis. Josh Lewis again. Jerry Lee Lewis. Sinclair Lewis. Meriwether Lewis. Carl Lewis....

Reva: *crying* How can you say that! I was never married to Carl Lewis! Besides, that's not the point. The point is that I may be a tramp, but you're a lyin', cheatin', no-good, womanizing scoundrel!

Clay: Reva, what on earth gave you that idea? I may be no angel, but I'm not a lyin', cheatin', no-good, womanizing. scoundrel!

Reva: *crying* Yes you are! I saw it on the internet!

Clay: *chuckles* Now honey, you can't believe everything you see on the internet.

Reva: *crying* But it was you! I saw the pictures with my own eyes! With all those women!

Clay: Reva, honey, is this about Erica again? I explained before. I was only a guest on her talk show. There was nothing more. You're the only daytime diva for me, darling.

*tries to hug again; Reva still pulls away, crying even more*

Reva: *crying* No, I don't mean that (although I still don't trust that woman). I'm talking about pictures of you with Tammy and Beth and Harley and....Here, let me show you. I have one of you kissing Tammy right here.

Clay: Reva, you can't believe pictures on the internet. I've heard there are women who photoshop pictures of me with people I've never even met, like Darth Vader or that guy from Lost or even themselves! That's probably what it is. Or maybe they're pictures of someone else.

Reva: *crying* But it's you! Who else could it be, so tall and slim, with those big eyes and long lashes, and those freckles and that funny little walk, and that tongue....

*dramatic music*

Clay: Did you say he looks exactly like me? Tall and slim, with big eyes and long lashes, and freckles, and a funny walk?

Reva: *crying* Yes. And the tongue. Don't forget the tongue!

Clay: *under breath* Could it be? Is it him? Did he follow me to Springfield?

Reva: *crying* Who, Clay, who followed you to Springfield?

Clay: Reva, I don't know how to tell you this, but..but...

Reva: *crying* Clay! What is it? What is your deep, dark secret?

Clay: Darling, I didn't want you to have to know this, but I...I...I have an evil identical twin from whom I was separated at birth!

Reva: *gasps* An evil identical twin from whom you were separated at birth!

Clay: Yes, an evil identical twin from whom I was separated at birth. I'm sorry darling. Do you hate me for having an evil identical twin from whom I was separated at birth?

Reva: *crying* Oh no, darling! I don't hate you for having an evil identical twin from whom you were separated at birth! I have an evil identical twin from whom I was separated at birth too!

Clay: Oh darling! *embrace*

Now let me see those pictures to see if it's my evil identical twin from whom I was separated at birth.

Ding dang, I was right! Chester! He's been impersonating me again!

Reva: *stops crying* Your evil identical twin from whom you were separated at birth is named Chester?

Clay: We have different mothers. Anyway, darling, I don't know what evil plot Chester is hatching, but I know he's going to try to come between us. But that is never going to happen, is it, darling?

Reva: *still looking at picture* He is kind of cute. And that tongue...

Clay: Reva!

Reva: *crying* Oh, Clay. I love you! You're the only man for me, even if you do have an evil identical twin from whom you were separated at birth!

Announcer Voice:Tune in tomorrow for Reva and Clay's wedding on Guiding Light.

Odin: *wipes tear* They were made for each other. I think that marriage may last all the way till May sweeps.

--by Katynka