2006-03-04
9:10 a.m.

Talk About Something That REALLY Happened

Nelle: Whoohoo! Clay Blogged! Multiple times!!!!

Katynka: Ahem, yea Nelle, I think Wendy and I have to talk to you about that. Go ahead, Wen.

Wendy: I'm not gonna tell her, you tell her.

Nelle: *looks back and forth at Kat and Wen*

Katynka: Ok, Nelle, you know how Clay said in his Blog to "talk about something that REALLY happened?"

Nelle: Yes! I loved that...he's so snarky and sneaky...I've loved communicating with Clay in coded messages for years.

Katynka: Yes we know, but Nelle, we think we should tell you that some of the things we've written on the Main Pages over the years didn't REALLY happen.

Nelle: Get out! Are you serious?

Wendy: Yes, uhhh, like remember when Clay was on the Jimmy Kimmel Show for Valentine's Day last year?

Nelle: Of course, he wore a TIE! Then, you wrote the MP with Clay and Jimmy's diaries about how they are best friends.

Wendy: Nelle, I made the diaries up.

Nelle: No! You wrote fake communication between Clay and Jimmy and posted it on the Internet?

Wendy: heh...yea, but it was just for fun...you know, with our Crowns of Delusions on and all.

Nelle: Ok, yes, I understand...I mean, I helped make up the LBFCA'S Wildest Dreams!!! MP...but we made it a dream sequence, so everyone could be, you know, in on the delusion.

Katynka: And Nelle, Melissa and I, we, uhhh, we made up the Queen of Malaysia's diary, too.

Nelle: Ohhh, I wondered how you had gotten a hold of her diary...but I knew you traveled a lot.

Katynka: Yea, I was counting on you thinking it was possible.

Nelle: I guess you really can't believe everything you see written on the Internet.

Wendy: Nelle, it's not only written things...uhhh, some of the photos we have used on our Main Pages have been fake.

Nelle: *surprised look*

Katynka: Georgia O'Keefe never really painted Clay...

Nelle: Dang! I love her work!

Katynka: She died when Clay was just a teenager, but I'm still pretty sure she was a Broad.

Nelle: Hmmm...what other photos are fake?

Katynka: Remember the Guiding Light page with Chester, Clay's Evil Identical Twin from whom he was separated at birth?

Nelle: *cautious* Yea??

Katynka: He doesn't have an Evil Identical Twin from whom he was separarted at birth...that was Clay in disguise.

Nelle: Aha!

Wendy: Didn't you notice Clay has been showing up at The Ranch disguised as Chester for weeks?

Nelle: So that's why the Broads were going around in Acacia leaf bikinis in the middle of winter!

Katynka: Remember the March of the Broads page?

Nelle: Yes! I adore our Penguin King!

Katynka: The Broads can�t really wear tiaras in Antarctica�it�s cold as MESS there, and the tiaras might freeze to their heads. There could be injuries.

Nelle: Oh, wow. That was a really good photoshop!

Katynka: Thank you.

Wendy: Remember The Day The Monkeys Went To Pluto?

Nelle: *screams* Vividly!

Wendy: There were never really any Monkees on Clay's spaceship.

Wendy: Only real monkeys.

Nelle: Oh my. Well, I still had a good time up there on Clay's big ship.

Katynka: We thought you did.

Wendy: We could hear the screaming from here.

Nelle: But, but...what about what Clay has said on the Internet...you know, about how he said he loves us, and he took us all...as his Valentine�

Katynka: Of course that's true, that REALLY happened.

Nelle: Of course, what was I thinking�I know I can trust Clay. But, well, he did say awhile ago he would have CD news "QUITE soon."

Katynka: No one can figure out what he meant by that, but in the Clay Aiken Time Space Continuum I'm sure that's true�that will REALLY happen. Someday.

Nelle: What about when he wears PURPLE....that still means he loves his Lecherous Broads, right?

Wendy: Oh honey, everyone knows that's true. That REALLY happens. Over and over.

Wendy: Nelle, brace yourself�remember the Star Wars page?

Nelle: Of course! That was a blockbuster!

Wendy: Nelle, you are not really a princess.

Nelle: HAHA, very funny. I know that, silly! I'm just a humble Keeper of the Keys.

Katynka: Nelle, one more thing, everything we�ve told you so far has just been the precursor to the inevitable.

Nelle: Oh dear.

Katynka: Remember when we gave you this for your birthday a couple years ago:

Nelle: I don't think I want to hear this.

Wendy: Nelle, that never REALLY happened...Clay wasn't born yet when that picture of you was taken.

Nelle: *hands over ears* La La La La La La La...I'm not listening.

~~~

Nelle, Wendy and Katynka

Photoshops by the Wentynka.

Thanks to Tasapio for capturing Clay in PURPLE glory