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2006-03-04
Talk About Something That REALLY Happened Nelle: Whoohoo! Clay Blogged! Multiple times!!!! Katynka: Ahem, yea Nelle, I think Wendy and I have to talk to you about that. Go ahead, Wen. Wendy: I'm not gonna tell her, you tell her. Nelle: *looks back and forth at Kat and Wen* Katynka: Ok, Nelle, you know how Clay said in his Blog to "talk about something that REALLY happened?" Nelle: Yes! I loved that...he's so snarky and sneaky...I've loved communicating with Clay in coded messages for years. Katynka: Yes we know, but Nelle, we think we should tell you that some of the things we've written on the Main Pages over the years didn't REALLY happen. Nelle: Get out! Are you serious? Wendy: Yes, uhhh, like remember when Clay was on the Jimmy Kimmel Show for Valentine's Day last year? Nelle: Of course, he wore a TIE! Then, you wrote the MP with Clay and Jimmy's diaries about how they are best friends. Wendy: Nelle, I made the diaries up. Nelle: No! You wrote fake communication between Clay and Jimmy and posted it on the Internet? Wendy: heh...yea, but it was just for fun...you know, with our Crowns of Delusions on and all. Nelle: Ok, yes, I understand...I mean, I helped make up the LBFCA'S Wildest Dreams!!! MP...but we made it a dream sequence, so everyone could be, you know, in on the delusion. Katynka: And Nelle, Melissa and I, we, uhhh, we made up the Queen of Malaysia's diary, too. Nelle: Ohhh, I wondered how you had gotten a hold of her diary...but I knew you traveled a lot. Katynka: Yea, I was counting on you thinking it was possible. Nelle: I guess you really can't believe everything you see written on the Internet. Wendy: Nelle, it's not only written things...uhhh, some of the photos we have used on our Main Pages have been fake. Nelle: *surprised look* Katynka: Georgia O'Keefe never really painted Clay...
Nelle: Dang! I love her work! Katynka: She died when Clay was just a teenager, but I'm still pretty sure she was a Broad. Nelle: Hmmm...what other photos are fake? Katynka: Remember the Guiding Light page with Chester, Clay's Evil Identical Twin from whom he was separated at birth? Nelle: *cautious* Yea?? Katynka: He doesn't have an Evil Identical Twin from whom he was separarted at birth...that was Clay in disguise.
Nelle: Aha! Wendy: Didn't you notice Clay has been showing up at The Ranch disguised as Chester for weeks? Nelle: So that's why the Broads were going around in Acacia leaf bikinis in the middle of winter! Katynka: Remember the March of the Broads page? Nelle: Yes! I adore our Penguin King! Katynka: The Broads can�t really wear tiaras in Antarctica�it�s cold as MESS there, and the tiaras might freeze to their heads. There could be injuries.
Nelle: Oh, wow. That was a really good photoshop! Katynka: Thank you. Wendy: Remember The Day The Monkeys Went To Pluto? Nelle: *screams* Vividly! Wendy: There were never really any Monkees on Clay's spaceship.
Wendy: Only real monkeys. Nelle: Oh my. Well, I still had a good time up there on Clay's big ship. Katynka: We thought you did. Wendy: We could hear the screaming from here. Nelle: But, but...what about what Clay has said on the Internet...you know, about how he said he loves us, and he took us all...as his Valentine� Katynka: Of course that's true, that REALLY happened. Nelle: Of course, what was I thinking�I know I can trust Clay. But, well, he did say awhile ago he would have CD news "QUITE soon." Katynka: No one can figure out what he meant by that, but in the Clay Aiken Time Space Continuum I'm sure that's true�that will REALLY happen. Someday. Nelle: What about when he wears PURPLE....that still means he loves his Lecherous Broads, right?
Wendy: Oh honey, everyone knows that's true. That REALLY happens. Over and over. Wendy: Nelle, brace yourself�remember the Star Wars page? Nelle: Of course! That was a blockbuster! Wendy: Nelle, you are not really a princess.
Nelle: HAHA, very funny. I know that, silly! I'm just a humble Keeper of the Keys. Katynka: Nelle, one more thing, everything we�ve told you so far has just been the precursor to the inevitable. Nelle: Oh dear. Katynka: Remember when we gave you this for your birthday a couple years ago:
Nelle: I don't think I want to hear this. Wendy: Nelle, that never REALLY happened...Clay wasn't born yet when that picture of you was taken.
Nelle: *hands over ears* La La La La La La La...I'm not listening.
~~~ Nelle, Wendy and Katynka Photoshops by the Wentynka. Thanks to Tasapio for capturing Clay in PURPLE glory
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